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trinity the tuck - trinity ruins christmas (2023) lyrics

[intro]
we see our troubled queen now
trudging through the snow, looking for her next victim
trinity hated the holiday season
in fact, trinity hated everyone
always trying to ruin the spirit of christmas

[verse 1]
it’s snowing out and ya’ll filled with glee
it’s ten below, i hope you freeze
don’t give me that holiday gaudiness please
those lights and glitter make me sneeze
now listen up and take my advice
stole santa’s list and i checked it twice
y’all goodie two shoes gonna pay the price
now let me tell you what happens when you’re nice
(mua+ha+ha!)

[pre+chorus]
i’ll take your presents
i’ll sn+tch your ham
i’ll eat your cookies
and take your man
i’ll clog your chimney
i’ll steal your tree
i’m vicious
don’t mess with me (ha! ha! ha!)
[chorus]
she’s a mean one
she’s a b+tch
you can call her the christmas witch (ha! ha! ha!)
she’s a grinch in (get over here)
big ol heels (ha haha!)
she’s a scrooge with s+x appeal (ha! ha! ha!)

[verse 2]
please could you spare a little change for the poor?
oh, i guess i’ve never done that before, tell me more!
i just need some shillings for bread
you should’ve said. here you go+ wait, nevermind hoe!
it’s not only christmas that makes me rude
listen, hanukkah makes me wanna vomit too
i hate kwanzaa and boxing day i wanna fight you
lemme call up krampus he can be my boo

[pre+chorus]
i’ll take your presents
i’ll sn+tch your ham
i’ll eat your cookies
and take your man
i’ll clog your chimney
i’ll steal your tree
i’m vicious
don’t mess with me (ha! ha! ha!)
[chorus]
she’s a mean one (i’m a mean one)
she’s a b+tch (i’m a very crazy b+tch)
you can call her the christmas witch (ha! ha! ha!)
she’s a grinch in (oh i hate these godd+mn heels)
big ol heels
she’s a scrooge with s+x appeal (ha! ha! ha!)

[verse 3]
i don’t want a wreath
i don’t want a tree
i’ll choke you out with string lights
so let me be
don’t tell me to smile
don’t wanna be jolly
come on over and i’ll show you where to stick ya holly
can’t stand the do+gooders out there asking for coin
come caroling i’ll punch you square in the groin
i don’t want glad tidings
i don’t need no one’s help
you can keep your stank ass jingle bells to yourself!

[bridge]
trinity?
tiny tammie, what are you doing here?
um, well, i’ve been a fan of yours for a while, and i’ve never done drag before
but i was wondering if maybe you wanted to be my drag mom?
oh my god! what am i feeling?!? this tingling sensation!
have i finally discovered the true magic of christmas?!?
mmm, nope!
[chorus]
she’s a mean one (hahaha!!)
she’s a b+tch (suck it tiny tammie!)
you can call her the christmas witch (and scrooge you too!) (ha! ha! ha!)
she’s a grinch in (guess i’m a grinch then!)
big ol heels (big ‘ol heels!)
she’s a scrooge with s+x appeal (oh, bah humbug!) (ha! ha! ha!)

- trinity the tuck lyrics

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