tripod - saniglove lyrics
okay, gather round people, see this rope? okay, everyone sit behind this rope. hey, hey, come back with that! okay, sit there where i’m pointing. now, i will keep talking loudly until a crowd forms. in this way i guarantee myself that my audience have nothing better to do. don’t stand too far. and be careful of…
ding ding ding ding…
aaaaah!
… the tram. okay, after me and my r-t-rded brother here finish this song, we will be placing, on the ground, this hat. now, this hat has no cosmetic function, it’s for money. now, we like the money that tinkles, but we prefer the money that folds. anything less than a gold coin, you will insult me
now, here’s the tale of a very sad case
he was a contestant in the rat race
but he just didn’t understand the rules
what a fool!
he always called himself the “toilet paper man”
toilet paper man…
but, not surpisingly, people didn’t understand
’cause he wasn’t made of toilet paper
he just manufactured toilet paper…
he’ll never forget the day he blew it
making that ad with lleyton hewitt
and he had what he thought was a good idea
oh dear!
he always called himself the “toilet paper man”
he thought that maybe lleyton could have used his hand
it would have helped him out of his predicament
so he ran home and made a blueprint for his big idea…
it’s perfect! a reusable, completely hygenic system, consisting of one, all-purpose glove. it doesn’t just remove the necessity for toilet paper, it also replaces tissues, hankies, and cotton buds! i call it..
sani-glove! sani-glove!
heavens above, it’s sani-glove!
you will love, sani-glove!
it’s durable, it’s practical, it’s sani…. as in “-tary”…
the story isn’t over yet, kids, don’t leave yet. he had his million-dollar idea, or so he thought. but ideas are a dangerous thing. and toilet paper can be unforgiving, especially those “no-name” brands, you know?
ouch! yeah…
the toilet paper companies were curious
but when they realised, they were furious
the sani-glove had the power to bring them down
to the ground!
the sani-glove could save millions of trees
and with a special attachment, it could wax bikinis
he was hunted down by the toilet paper companies
they smashed up all his blueprints and they k!lled his family…
then they made his brother r-t-rded
and the inventor of the sani-glove was…meeeee……!
sani-glove, sani-glove
when push comes to shove, it was sani-glove
now i’m just a lone busker
and if you don’t count this monkey and my r-t-rded brother
curse you
sani-glove!
we couldn’t really think of a secret track to do
so now i’m just making this one up, i hope it doesn’t make you spew…
thank you!
at least you didn’t rhyme it with “poo”!
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