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turbochristmas - boar's head carol lyrics

(the boar’s head…caput apri defero, reddens laudes domino)

(wild boars are becoming a common sight in the town of caledon…so far no one has been injured, but experts are still concerned about the animals running loose…heather [?] is joining us now with more on this issue—heather, what can you tell us?)

(from a distance, it looks like an ordinary wild hog)

the boar’s head in hand bear i
bedeck’d with bays and rosemary
and i pray you my masters be merry
quot estis in convivio

caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino
caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino

(richard, this one, uh…is a little weird here—a story that involves a wild boar…this probably doesn’t end very well, does it?)

(uh, the man can be seen running full+on after the boar who ate his pizza before making off with his laptop…you may wanna avert your eyes for this..+inaudible+…bits and pieces—now famous, melissa)

the boar’s head, as i understand
is the rarest dish in all the land
which thus bedeck’d with a g+y garland
let us servire cantico

caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino
caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino
(we know there are wild boar on the island…razorbacks by the look of them…the ones with scimitar+like tusks and a surly disposition who’d like nothing more than to eviscerate anything comes near…a boar’s usual mode of attack is to circle around and charge from behind, so i figure it’ll take at least a 250+pound rat to distract her long enough for me to—)

our steward hath provided this
in honour of the king of bliss
which on this day to be servèd is
in reginensi atrio

caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino
caput apri defero
reddens laudes domino

(scientists aren’t sure what the real point is)

- turbochristmas lyrics

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