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twiztid - wondering why (original) lyrics

[intro]
i’ve seen some sh+t
it ain’t holding me down, man
this depression is a cycle that comes back around
my actions are my own
the cause of my pain where i sit by the fireside
just be in my pace
and they conversate and talk about nothing, it’s lies
it’s fabricated [?]
built up on lies
they told me this one thing
now i see through the sh+t
they ain’t holding me down
this depression is a cycle that tends to come back around
by causing my pain

[verse 1: madrox]
look through the windows in my mind at night
there some things going on, some of them are not right
i’ve been locked in this house, in this abusive home
no one is there on the couch, and i’m alone
inside of my head, things are unclear
i don’t rely on the person i see in the mirror
and i don’t die for the chance to be standing right here
sometimes i’m a smart ass when being sincere
[verse 2: monoxide]
i see everything’s flashing, i wish it would stop
there’s just something that makes me so nervous by cops
all their pushing and shoving and mace in my eyes
it will only keep burning this hate that’s inside of me
hitting and kicking me just for the fun
and all i keep on thinking is “go for his gun!”
to protect and to serve are the words you should heed
and if you don’t we’re going to watch you bleed

[chorus]
wondering why? (why?) not giving up? (no!)
nothing can break me
wondering why? (why?) not giving up? (no!)
nothing can make me
wondering why? (why?) not giving up? (no!)
nothing can save me
wondering why? (why?) not giving up? (no!)
nothing can change me

[verse 3: monoxide]
she loves me and hates me, it’s all just the same
but i can’t hear her screaming and yelling my name
now her face is all blue, and her eyes are all red
from the blood cells that just keep on popping instead of me
[?] and pushing away
all the pictures and memories and things she would say
they keep coming and flashing, so i keep on laughing, b+tch
you never should of f+cked my boy
[verse 4: madrox]
i’m in touch with my fear that’s why i stay afraid
and i’ll stay that way until night turns to day
and them nice words you say will slowly mutate
and become the better part of you that we all love to hate
and while speaking on fate, i’m trying to relate
to the ever growing destiny and its amazing shape
they tell me i’m straight and then they diss me on tape
there’s a website debate, was it all a mistake?

[verse 5: monoxide]
it just keeps calling me, whispers my name
all alone i was hitting the darkness again
all my friends they are dead but remain in my head
so i choose to believe that they all are my telling
telling me, “die!” [?] the sky
that h+ll is the real and that heaven’s a fantasy
capture me mentally, nothing substantially evident
except that my head’s a little f+cked up

- twiztid lyrics

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