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tywan bell - mad man lyrics

this… this… this the mind of a mad man
this the mind of a mad man
listen…

speaking from the mind of a mad man, fighting all the thoughts no one understand
laying on a bed wit’ a pistol pointed to his head
as he’s asking for forgiveness before he go ahead and take his life
he tried meditating wit the kitchen knife on his wrist, he was under pressure
and had suicide on his mind, he didn’t know how to handle it
so popping pills was the second choice

screaming in his head, but he didn’t have a voice
they thought he was okay, they never heard a noise
but he was lost in a dark void where people like to go when they feel defeated
he was also paranoid that his demons was gonna come and get him
all he wanted was his pain to leave before beginning
but it is a cycle that can leave a n+++a traumatized
and if you look close enough, you can see it in his eyes

don’t under estimate what you don’t understand
this was the life of a mad man
lost in the world, his mind was always crammed
but, that’s the life of a mad man
don’t under estimate what you don’t understand
this was the life of a mad man
lost in the world, his mind was always crammed
but, that’s the life of a mad man

daily he was trapped in the cycle, became the outcast on the outskirt
he would always pray to god and read the bible
but suicide played in his head like a play recital in his vitals
at this point it was survival of the fittest, he didn’t have friends
he was a misfit he couldn’t fit in
so now he was a target to the bully in his second block class
as his thoughts transcends to the afterlife

now he fell in depression lost his appetite as he played russian roulette just to satisfy
the crave to live but also die, so he pulled the trigger only once a night
if the gun kept silent
he would bottle up the pain than blame god
why he couldn’t leave the world that made him go insane
’cause he felt alone, and no one really gave a d+mn anyway and didn’t wanna listen
so now he lookin’ for a gateway

mentally he was disarray from society in a dark room wit’ no escape
only thing to light the way was a candle on the dresser
it was also wintertime wit’ cold weather
he was on his last straw, it was time to pull the lever
he grabbed the pencil and wrote his last message
than put the rope across his neck hanging from the ceiling
before he took the leap of faith, he started having flashbacks of his life
all the pain that he felt from day to night, so he took his last breath and closed his eyes
and said, “this is for the best… it’s time to end the stress”

this was the life of a mad man…
what you don’t understand…
that’s the life of a mad man…

- tywan bell lyrics

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