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u.s. forest service - the lucky ranger (ranger's song) lyrics

[verse 1]
o once there was a ranger who always did his best
he wore the service uniform and a badge upon his vest
he had no interest save in his forest
he had his breakfast early, two hours before daylight
he hit the trail at sun+up and kept it up ’til night
and half the night he’d read and write
o he was in demand when trouble was in sight
for he could run a whizzer, and he could also fight
h+ll or high water, it was all right
his pride was that he knew his work from a to z
from abies to zylem, the manual, and sub+e
and every part he knew by heart
his mind was automatic, he never liked debate
he never hesitated and never was too late
he could not make a mistake
he thought the world was skook+m but asked two things from life
that he should own a forest and that he find a wife
for to marry was necessary
one day a tourist’s daughter got lost out in the brush
the ‘phoned in to the ranger, and he was there with a rush
they needn’t worry for he would hurry
he tracked her down a canyon and up a mountain side
and if he hadn’t found her, she certainly would have died
but she was plucky and that was lucky
for when the ranger saw her, a great big grizzly bear
had run her up on a pile of rocks and he was a+keeping her there
and now the ranger was in great danger
but the ranger ran right up and pulled his forty+five
and the air turned blue with the smoke of it but the bear was still alive
the fighting was exciting
the ranger’s guns were empty, so he pulled his bowie knife
for the bear was coming for him, and he had to save his life
and for a fight, that was all right
but the ranger he was losing, for he didn’t have the weight
the girl saw things were desperate, and she was most too late
but she was coming and coming running
the bear was bleeding badly, but the ranger was all in
when the bear hit him an awful smash, and it looked just like a win
but in a clem, cherche la femme
the bear reached for the ranger who had fainted with the shock
when the girl ran a hairpin down his ear and beaned him with a rock
then with the knife, he took his life
the ranger’s leg was broken, but they had to get outside
so the girl she carried him fifteen miles, and all the way she cried
for she was sad and also glad
she nursed the ranger well and then one moonlight night
he said, “my dear, i love you, you certainly can fight
you saved my life, please be my wife”
“o yes indeed”, she answered, “but you certainly were slow
i’d rather marry a ranger than any man i know
and i’d rather marry you than carry you”
“but we will have to wait, dear, for a while at least i fear
for i have no ranger station, and it may take me a year
the supervisor is a miser”
“no! i can’t wait so long, and anyway, don’t you care?
we will get married tomorrow, for pa is a millionaire
pick out your forest and get the best”
well he thought of the old uinta and the routt and the medicine bow
the blackfeet and the coeur d’alene, the crook and the durango
but they all had too blamed much snow
he thought of the uncompahgre, the gila and the kern
the modoc and the klamath, but he was afraid they’d burn
and also, the ochoco
he wanted to make certain there should be no mistake
so he took a trip to the kootenai and then to the fishlake
and the lolo and the mono
the leadville was too high, the kansas was too low
so he passed up all of district two and still was on the go
to look still more became a chore
but he said, “i am a ranger, and the forest is my home
i must find one that suits me, and until then, i must roam
it will be fun to own one”
he went to the pacific and climbed up mount ranier
he looked around all puget sound and then he said, “i fear
that each is rainier than ranier”
the datil was too dry, the chelan was too wet
the inyo was awful dry, the chugach wetter yet
in melancholy, he slipped his trolley
year after year he wandered ’til he forgot his wife
to find a perfect forest, he gave up all his life
he never knew that he could not do that
[verse 2]
out in the scaler’s cabins, nights when the wind is high
the scalers tell each other, “there’s that ranger goin’ by
poor cuss worse off than us”
days when the fires are working, and there isn’t any sky
and there is no grub or water, they hear him goin’ by
“poor cuss worse off than us”
noons when the crew finds water, and the cigarettes are made
they d+mn their job and the party chief, but they do not want to trade
“poor cuss worse off than us”
up at the lookout station with his heliograph and phone
the lookout talks to the guards below, and they say, “he’s all alone
poor cuss he envies us”
when the beartrap district ranger meets up with the one below
they d+mn the supervisor, but they let the other know
“poor cuss worse off than us”
when the utah supervisor meets one from district three
they d+mn the district foresters, but in this, they agree
“poor cuss worse off than us”
when the district heads foregather to hear the big chief tell
what they have next to tend to, they all think, “go to h+ll
but the poor cuss he’s worse off than us”

[verse 3]
the swartzwald suits the german, the zielwald suits the swiss
the british like the punjab, and it all comes down to this
“poor cuss worse off than us”
and some folks like the hardwoods and some prefer the pine
and some folks like the mixed woods, and i like spruce in mine
“my forest is always best”
and some folks like forests level and some prefer them rough
and some want a little and some want lots, and each is good enough
“my forest is always best”
jack sprat could eat no fat, far fields are always green
the other fellow has a snap, the boss is always mean
o h+ll, it’s just as well

- u s forest service lyrics

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