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unwoman - if i woke up in temescal lyrics

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if
i woke up
in temescal more than once
i would have fallen in love

not with you
but with your neighborhood
which had already carved itself
into memory in real+time
burned with luminous skin
in the late morning sun

and the perilously foreign+yet+familiar feel
of someone’s hand in mine
the treacherous ways i was at your command
gave in completely
because i’d found peace at long last

is each successive rejection
a russian doll
a little smaller but rеally just the same
mocking me
evеn though
so few of my stars were hung on your tree

i will mourn every loss
i want to tear out your heart in response
but you would have to see what you are missing
and we know you are blind
to the charms i tell myself i still wield
you’ve tacitly declared
them
invisible
so i punish myself
with an overdose of my beloved solitude
i will never know how much pleasure i negate
by setting my body off+limits

it could all just be a delusion
i might truly be as worthless as you clearly found me
at best a lovely and damaged illusion
to those who can’t touch me
to those who can’t touch me

if i woke up
in temescal again
i would have written
another song about you
no
i’ve finally cut you off from the honors you never deserved

if i woke up
if i woke up in your arms again
nostalgia is
the worst drug i’ve ever tried to kick

how close did we ever come?



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