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upchurch - blue jean face lyrics

[skit]
can’t you see i’m trying to relax
i thought i told you to get out of here and leave me alone
what in the h-ll are you doing with that lawnmower blade?
i aim to k!ll you with it

[intro]
ha ha
ayy
when do i ever let sh-t slide motherf-cker?
church (church church church)
all this… make a video, don’t make a video, post another one, he’s racist
yeah, shut the f-ck up
yeah, yeah

[verse]
oh d-mn, i think he shot right through my maga hat
nah you’re not that accurate and i wasn’t even wearin’ that
this man just drank a monster, now he thinks he’s goin’ savage
shootin’ at me with a bb gun all the way in nebraska
yeah b-tch raise h-ll and get the cornhusk cuz
yeah i know i’m white, but not the white house bud
i don’t know no politics the only kind of ticks i know
are always suckin’ on my b-lls like your diss track ho
dog the only time i beat around the bush is when i’m lookin’
i’ll be grabbin’ snakes and takin’ them to cook ’em what you stupid?
yeah this time i cannot save you from your own fanbase
that’s like sayin’ you run sh-t with two prosthetic legs
yeah i get it, yeah i get it, yeah you want me havin’ no bars
you want me to be the one that slingshots your career far
but that ain’t gonna happen, why you tryna shake n bake with me
you just a decoy rapper sjw with the racist sh-t
somebody get a p-ssy hat and send it to this dweeb
you look like whoopi goldberg back in 1993
a battle rapper huh, you came to war with green eggs and ham
and i showed up with a steak knife and a chainsaw in my hand
the only fact i see is me inflictin’ a f-ckin’ fatality
“silence, i will k!ll you” on the track that’s no -n-logy
career suicide, yeah you picked it up and done it
with your hand up your -ss like achmed and jeff dunham
no strings attached, still a hip hop puppet
you sound like a motherf-ckin’ cnn spokesman
you cry so d-mn much your grape vines are prolly waterlogged
but i’m the river rat so get the f-ck up out my monkeypod
yeah you rode your own canoe up schitts creek on a summer day
i bet your headstone reads ‘death by a septic tank’
you put a whole new meaning to the term underground
’cause i devoured you and pushed you out the end of my -n-l bowel
you’re the sh-t now, only right before i flush it
you picked the wrong hillbilly to go against out in public
you want the spotlight mr. topic of discussion?
but instead you got b-tch smacked by an ugly country b-mpkin
will the real ryan upchurch please stand up?
you about as useless as a prius made truck
next time you pop off i won’t even have to duck
’cause what’s a little red ryder to an icicle bud
yeah i seen your boyfriend defendin’ you up in his video
he looks like he emerged up out of dj khalid’s booty hole
nice beard, man, what kinda carpet dye you use?
do you smell like that when you pull his jeans down and your face gets… screwed?
boomhauer got you flabbergasted
“yeah, dang oh, don’t cry about it, little pansy”
b-tch i’m hank hooligan from the deep south
i bring the kaiser blade and say you got a purty mouth
so tell me, man, what was your initial plan?
i think it backfired like my uncle larry’s trans-am
is this a battle rap or you just tryna shake my hand?
did i just diss a b-tch or a fully converted trans man? d-mn
excuse me it’s ma’am, it is ma’am
i almost picked a drake beat, k!llin’ you was “god’s plan”
you look up to this church, why you pray before a hand?
yeah you thought your shot was definitely gonna smash
now i’m burnin’ your -ss like a sl-t who walked up into sunday school… cl-ss
congratulations, pat on the back
at the end of this song i won’t be takin’ that l back
now if you please will take a second and step away from the microphone
before you lose so many followers you’re in the negative zone
yeah, blue jean face, i heard your sh-tty track
was that a publicity stunt somebody left in the back?
now people hear you sayin’ trigger words in your rap
and they’re like “yeah bro, somebody go and get the body bag”
a f-ckin’ body bag for what? this was self -ss-ssination
he got his own fan pages hatin’ on him at this second
he got people in the comments sayin’ “who the f-ck is upchurch?”
and still unsubbin’ ’cause he sounds so d-mn b-tthurt
church

[skit]
to call the police, push 9… 1…
i told you not to mess with me, mmhmm

- upchurch lyrics

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