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upgrade hiphop - further down the rabbit hole lyrics

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drown my sorrow in a gl-ss bottle, out of luck, better odds if i scratch lotto

the pain grows and the raps follow, my flask hollow, try to make the best of it f-ck a motto

seems we couldn’t catch a break a piece of puzzles missing

battling depression while my brother battles drug addiction

best friend’s my therapist my mother’s wearing thin

the pen is gripped but ever since this endless stress i vent for bliss

head is gone like severed limbs this medicine ain’t helping sh-t

instead i rip this thinning hair and shed away from weathered skin

entering the darkest place i’ve ever been and set up tent

made this place my home equipped with alcohol and sedatives

lost relationships no longer close with friends or relatives

‘cause talking about the h-ll i live and made me close the sh-ll i’m in

a heartless boss with faker grins than artificial gelatin

they said i quit, i said i’m sick, a simple sh-t they’d never give

doctor’s notes eligible? they don’t believe i’m checking in?

they caught me out performing with a twitter pic for evidence

…first off you think i’m dumb enough to hide it?

b-tch i posted on a public site, my name ain’t even private

the acupuncture, therapy, hypnosis, change of meds

biggest contest of my life and i’m supposed to take a rest?

i couldn’t drive in case of panic mom would drive the car to watch

embarr-ssed that i needed her i told her stay in parking lot…

my heart would knock louder as it filled with pain

xanny-bars were wearing off the second that i hit the stage

fight or flight, time is now, luckily i made it through

and leaving with that winning spot’s exactly what i came to do

the dust settles and the hype wears thin

got to cross another win, on this long check list

not a bong gets ripped, no alcohol gets sipped

i got home and started working on this song that’s it

i feel the storm is frequent, there’s nothing left to do

depressed in every season, the curtains set the mood

the mirror broke to pieces, reflection never knew

i’m an aborted fetus, lost in this vestibule

but i guess they’ll never know where i came from, since i never left my room

and i guess they’ll never know why my guard’s up, since i never let them through

weerd science:

we go further down the rabbit hole

wipe away the cobwebs and we survey the catacombs

and when the “never yawns” meet up with the “not alone’s”

the shadows you cannot atone

we all come from hollowed homes

when every breath is a baritone

and every heart beat is an 808

that vibrates and rattles on

carrying on a tradition

a modern citizen

though i’m marred in cynicism

and yes the medicine is addictive

leaving you clinically submissive

but you p-ssively dismiss it

let it diminish….

your body and what heart that you had left in it

you’re on the fast track to your last track

and though you focus on your front

your hands reach for your stabbed back

and then you stab back

i’m sick of asking god questions…’cause you know what?

he never once answered back

a piece of sh-t a sad sack

in a whole city of mad men that’ll split you down the middle like an -ss crack

i don’t discriminate, like a f-cking bad batch

of dope across state lines

my whole life is an appalling act

so act appalled, and every track you put your accent on

when you wave your white flag cause you’re soft like mattress foam

you’re in the battle zone

it’s dangerous to act alone

so act accordingly

according to me you’re on a ride along

you do not belong on songs of sickness

where the docs can’t diagnose

and the meds don’t fix sh-t

- upgrade hiphop lyrics

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