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vadeem 43 - i can't buy guns no more lyrics

flashing lights see em gleaming from afar , wasn’t safe inside my house so i was sleeping in my car , set my face upon the clouds removing reefer from a jar, i fell in this haystack and drove a needle through my heart, would risk my life for the sum of a cash amount, my plug had faith in me as he fronted me half an ounce, he waited patiently as he recieved what i owed and reaped what he sowed i fronted half but now i need an o, as i proceed to grow he see i show potential in a sense, so he offer me a room inside his residence, and i was humbled, i was honered by the invitation, but stick up kids carnivorous inside their conversations, word on the street inside this house they will desire harm, i went from homeless to a hustler with some firearms, acquire carnal needs as my inner heart would bleed i recieved reward but it wasn’t regarding peace i remembered bible scripture, where jesus said depart from me ye workers of iniquity, this is what would stick with me, everything seemed to be great as i continued this charade inside i was so miserable i couldn’t see the mess i made one night i did a bunch of drugs, first i really felt myself, till i saw my own reflection then i tried to k!ll myself
… i had homie helped me put the gun down, but i dont know what i’m gone do with no one round, his girl had called the ambulance for mental health arrest, and i agreed she make the call in fact i felt it best , gave him my gun and told him run off and go ditch it, this pistol dirty can’t afford to let them find me with it , i feel the drugs inside my system as i see the lights, i hear the sirens but in silence know i’l be alright, they handcuff me and they threw me on a stretcher it ain’t felt like they was helping me as i proceed to sever , myself with this reality in front of me i’m wretched, as we ride to the hospital i realize life is precious, i hold the weight of what i’ve done inside my consciousness the life that i been living isnt reflecting that god exists, as i arrive the elevator hit the right floor , im at the psyche ward where am i with my life lord, the ceiling is the empty sp+ce in which i stare off, i’m by myself waiting for all the drugs to wear off
i know in jesus theres a peace that’s uncomparable but i ain’t know if he would want somebody who so terrible
i ask the nurse if possible i could recieve a bible, she said for sure and as i wait i’m praying for revival lord, i know if you move il fall, i’m leaning on you father help me make it thru it all .. after 3 days i had left the psyche unit transparent white tunic everyone saw right thru it, i bit the apple then i noticed that my clothes missin, i didn’t get the message even with my soul stricken, i left the hospital and reconnected with my plug, he put me on to bigger work had to resepct the love, but he ain’t love me he just love what i provided him, fianical freedom of a life that was derived of sin , i made some moves and did my thing but in my mind it hit me i can feel the holy spirit trying come in allignment with me , i stopped serving stopped selling stopped smoking not joking i have entered in the door that god opened, shining lights see em gleaming afar i dont need them i tell jesus can you reach into my heart, i been dreamin of demons can you see that they depart, i slept in hospitals
rather be sleeping in my car ..
matthew 8:20

- vadeem 43 lyrics

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