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vertigo (rap) - lost hope lyrics

outside, inside
what is the difference?
all my sides are closing in
hitting me in the head
my mind is shutting down
pushing family away
kicking all my roommates out
waiting for the day to come
where i can just be knocked down
what am i doing?
it so loud!
i’m too blind to see
what is going down
i have no idea
if it has to do with hope
i kicked him out so
long ago
maybe since i lost my hope
i lost all my friends as well
gives me no more reason
as to why i’m not in h-ll
i can wait for the moment
that i die and it’s alright
or i can find a knife
and put it in my chest
before the end of the night
and then it will be done
wait, i finally found that gun
i might as well do it now
bang bang bang!

i have lost all hope
my hope
i’ve officially lost all hope
my hope

wait, didn’t i tell you i hated life?
didn’t i tell you i deal with strife?
didn’t you know that i hate what i see
and feel that my family hates me?
i’m not the most likable person
i admit to that
and yes, i do believe that
i’m a bit of a brat
and yes i think that i’m a waste of oxygen
so are people that i talk about with the pen!
so why are you hating on me?
there are reasons that people make memes
there are reasons that there are none
made for me
there are people that i listen to
and people i don’t
but that’s because when you don’t apply to me
i’m gonna sail my own boat
and even if i do sail it
it seems to sink
but that’s the dead wait of my self confidence
don’t you think
and the reason that i lost it all
is because i have no hope
there’s only one person who comes
to my beck and call
and sometimes when i wake up in the morning and look at it all
and say
“what makes me look so tall compared to the people
who are out there?”
no money is rollin’ in
my self confidence lacks
and my hope percentage is small
so what am i doing
what am i doing with my life?
what am i doing
what am i doing with my birthright?
what am i doing
what am i doing with my home?
what am i doing, man?
why is the darkness where i roam?
so what is the point of evil
when it’s all in me
could i fall into oblivion
and have evil be the epitome of me?

i have lost all hope
my hope
i’ve officially lost all hope
my hope

oh, so now you want to apologize?
now you want to see it
through my eyes?
now you want to
finally realize
that i have seen through your lies
this whole time
and notice
that everything i did
was for you but you’re
obviously not for this
am i what you call
an angry rapper
i would rather be called
a hated rapper
but i may seem like this is all about me
but this is just my imagination
my mind’s stories
i make this up to
put it out there
not to say these aren’t my issues
but for now when it comes to me i really don’t care

- vertigo rap lyrics

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