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victoria wood - i just don’t care lyrics

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a girlfriend phoned me up the other day
she said, “my love life is in disarray
i never feel any thrill
my -rg-sm rate is nil
tell me what do you say?”

a few years back it could be guaranteed
i would have ‘what a shame’d and ‘deary me’d
drooled sympathy and support
and said without thought ‘i ought’
but now there’s no need

i just told her, “i don’t care.”
we’ve all got a cross to bare
people’s dreary lives
are the biggest bore
so don’t come back
anymore

an old schoolmate of whom i once was fond
told me her marriage was a stagnant pond
“my husband just sits and picks
his t–th with old lolly sticks
and i feel i’ve been conned.”

now once i would have said, “oh, i agree
the man’s a pervert, come and live with me.”
and comforted and cajoled
and let all my chips get cold
but now i feel free

to smile and say, “oh, what bad luck
why not trot beneath a truck?
if you want to cry
for some sympathy
then cry away
away from me.”

more and more as i get older
it becomes an even cert
when people cry upon your shoulder
you just get a soggy shirt

words won’t make his p-ssion smoulder
words won’t heal a heart that’s hurt
so i don’t try
i won’t lie

a girl from work turned up the other night:
“i’m so depressed about my cellulite
my bosoms are barely there
my bottom hangs off my chair!
now, please, be forthright.”

now once i would have said, “oh, not at all;
i think your office chair must be too small
your rear is the perfect size
men l-st after jodhphur thighs!”
but now, i’m just bored

if you really want to know
your bum is like a bungalow
and if i must reply
to your dumb request:
i hate your legs
and loathe your chest

don’t blubber down my phone
keep my flat a tear-free zone
my shoulders were not made
for your weeping face
they’re there to keep
my arms in place

because i just don’t care
we’ve all got a cross to bear
people’s dreary lives
are the biggest bore
so don’t confide anymore

because i just don’t care… [fade]

- victoria wood lyrics

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