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viracocha mendoza - rose gold + lonely lyrics

intro [esé michael the mighty maverick]:
yo
if you find yourself at a vulnerable spot in your life
and you got some sh-t to speak on
it’s, you, you a man still if you speak on it
look, huh

verse 1 [esé michael the mighty maverick]:
i think you want my time of day because you linger every second
i think want my personal sp-ce because you guide my misdirection
i think you want my search for peace to overbarren with stressing
bare confessions will not lessen your obsession, huh depression?
i couldn’t find the solace soaked in corners of the dark
four a.m. and here i am spewing my flaws with no regard
seal the prayer, cross my heart, raise my right hand up to god
striped the canvas down to answers, turned my madness into art
see you’re the reason i have sanity at times
you’re the reason that my treason led to closure-daunting lines
you’re the reason that i’m been waiting for a chance to tell more lies
you’re the reason i’ve been meaning to put an end to my own life
can not understand your hunger, my souls not that much of a prize
pros and cons of what i’ve done, but never do i criticize
now that karma’s keeping tally, and my souls been marked a price
got one thing stuck on my mind and that one thing’s been suicide
i can not hide

refrain [beth gibbons]:
child roses like
try to reveal what i can feel

verse 2
and my life would not implode just in the way i antic-p-ted
i sit here silent, resilient, removed and patient
after everything we’d seen in the wrath of altercation
this depression was invited to consume what’s in its way
to say i’m lost is so far off, over-stand my understatement
crushing cravings, lavish tastes, i can not cope with how i’ve made it
through threats of joy and times of yore gifted as an ultimatum
by the hands of gods that fed me spoiled lots to curb my hunger pains
i often dream of wordsmiths that slew more than common spades
that cut deep when planting seeds do not blossom better days
i’m blind and meek, divine in seek of anything to stop the pain
mind can’t think of times or seasons that will wash any dirt away
this blasphemy my thoughts can bring need saving from these d-mning phrases
energy now depleted within me to say this
who claims the lead?
whose down for me, really there all occasions?
can’t shake off the soaking rain, i’m drenched in vain of my mistakes
i can not wait for the release

refrain 2 [beth gibbons]:
child roses like
try to reveal what i can feel
and lonely
just won’t leave me alone
oh no

verse 3
i feel like a disappointment on my best days
i’m still battling self ridicule regardless what the rest say
i prayed to god to take my heart & bare it for the best pain
but he said it take some time cause i take that many rest of days
i had dreams that i made peace with hyperbolic & facetious thoughts
or achieve atonement over everything cause we friends
but did i peep out your actions + took that as disagreement
then my pride told me to eat it
and my pride said ‘stand defeated’
because we fought for wealth while heated so the tide did not break even
you swam out and off the deep end noodling for better sea men
how’d you reach a point of clarity, i’m stuck here in bereavement
have your cake and carp with bone in, que cera et carpe diem
i’m not breathing

refrain 3 [beth gibbons]:
child roses like
try to reveal what i can feel
and lonely
just won’t leave me alone
and lonely
just won’t leave me alone

- viracocha mendoza lyrics

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