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virtual bird - jon, the dead husband lyrics

i remember i pause, i sit in bed
worried about you what’s inside your head
you said you’d be here but you shoot instead
now i feel empty
and now i feel dead
now i feel empty
life amounted to drugs
is the heroine better, am i not enough?
apparently not it must be good stuff
straining to tell you it’s draining my love

i put my face down
crossed arms like your brother
i can’t come over because of your mother
she can’t accept that you might like d+cks
pause to remember you want to quit
but you can’t
you’re too sad
you’re a drug addict just like your dad
they didn’t say where your grave was after you passed
and i still can’t look in the mirror and admit that this happened

oh i love you but it’s time for divorce
it’s not reciprocated because you are no more
i want to love again without feeling guilty
it feels like your ghost is trying to bill me
for some dinner we had 5 years ago
you know that i love you now please god let go
you know that i love you now please god let go
i didn’t want to wake up from my nightmare because you are in it
cause when i wake up i feel like i’m finished
every positive is all still diminished
till i pull it together and shut up and listen

it’s a mask that i put on to hide my tragic past
it’s a film of security over a cast
that keeps me together
that keeps me at ease
still makes it hard to speak
still makes it hard to breathe
what do i say when i can’t hear my thoughts?
what do i say when clouded judgement fills my way?
what do i say when i shrug you off?
what do i do when these things prevent me from connecting to you
when these things prevent me from connecting to you

what do i do what do i do?
what do i do what do i do?

what do i do what do i do?
what do i do what do i do?
what do i do what do i do?
what do i do what do i do?

- virtual bird lyrics

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