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viscerist - abaddon lyrics

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[intro]
rain in the ceiling light
can’t tell if it’s leaking or alive

[verse 1]
she said i was meant for more
but every door
i opened
led to someone else’s floor
bent spine from the bending
nails in my grin
practiced pretending
like i don’t feel it sink in

[pre+chorus]
i wore your love like an alibi
cracked it wide with every try
there’s comfort in a lie
that fits just right

[chorus]
tell me who i’ve become
when the bruises are mine and i still want more
i looked up to the sun
but the light just made it harder to ignore
i swore i’d be good this time
but i liked how the knife fit my spine
[break]
(yeah—)
who’s keeping score?
blood on the mouth from wanting more

[verse 2]
i taped old promises
to the mirror like that’d stop the rot
swore i could fix it
then blamed you when i could not

held on to grace
like a loaded gun
put it to my head
and called it love

[bridge]
i wanted to change, i did, i do
i tried on kindness like a new tattoo
but i wear a rage
like tailored wool
it never wrinkles, it keeps me full

[hook]
if i can’t be holy
i’ll be feared
if i can’t be better
i’ll disappear
[pre+chorus]
i held my breath through every vow
but i’m not the same person now

[chorus]
tell me who i’ve become
when the bruises are mine and i still want more
i looked up to the sun
but the light just made it harder to ignore
i swore i’d be good this time
but i liked how the knife fit my spine

[outro]
there’s a name for men like me
but no one says it out loud

- viscerist lyrics

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