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vivid sixteen - who's suicide note is this lyrics

[chorus]
i’m christ without the cross
like ice without the frost
ain’t right to feel this nice value my life so what’s the cost
i lay my head and rest in peace
and i feel dread when i’m just sleep fell like a shepherd without sheep or like a record without beats

[verse]
felt alone and pessimistic do u feel me, really
i’ve been trying to forget it start the healing. it’s k!lling
me alive
no trojans by my side
emotions that i shrive
the sh-t that i abide i’ve
been caught inside a web
deceived and i’m misled
im peeved and i feel dread
relieved that i’ll be dead soon
and i watch death take its course from my first breathe into a corpse
with no regrets or no remorse i’ll take my life inside a porsche
or maybe in a benz my life will end soon enough
can’t seem to make amends don’t have no friends, it’s true enough
i won a lot but lose too much
the time i got i used it up
i seen a lot been through to much
i mix the pot get zooted up
lost my soul ,spirt ,and essence, watch my presence flow away
control my whole state of deception
apperceptions go away
i wrap it up and stowaway
i pack it up to throw away
i close my eyes and doze away
spurn and despise it goes away

[bridge]
again i’m feeling torn
a jinn without its horns
when i die will people mourn or
just despise that i was born
a jinn without its horns
again i’m feeling torn
when i die will people mourn or
just despise that i was born

- vivid sixteen lyrics

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