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vox manicka - narcotic nostalgia & nagging nausea lyrics

now you’re gasping for breath, but you can’t get enough
cause the air in your lungs
well, it just can’t compete with the drugs you gave up
lord knows it’s tough to abandon a crutch
when it’s clear your kneecaps are still busted
and your neuro+mechanics are creaking and rusted
unsure if you’re feeling at all, or too much

and you’re holding on for dear life
yeah, you’re holding on for dear life

cause they’re gathered at your doorstep, these shadows of your past
behind your blinds, they’re at your windows, tapping on the glass
if you’d just let them in, they’ve got some questions to ask

devil on each shoulder, so you look straight ahead
collecting distractions to stave off the dread
and avoid meeting yourself alone in your head
that pillow+talk+whispering voice of regret
connecting constellations of failure and disaster
as your past comes alive in the most ghastly patterns
sewn by the fates with their ill+fated thread

and you’re letting go for dear life
trying to let go for dear life
cause they’ve now run out of patience, these shadows of your past
you hear the windows crack as they press up against the glass
you can run all you want from your mind; these thoughts are too fast
and they ask

if that worldview that you’re heeding isn’t rife with sin and hedonism
is your heart still beating? aren’t you dying to come alive?
rhythmic palpitations steer time’s tempo into overdrive
don’t slow down, hold your ground, don’t you dare drown in the sound
till you snap and fill the gaps with powder, pills, and alcohol
rinse+repeat, stumble+crawl, re+hit that wall, cause after all
by now you know the protocol

sometimes it’s shame that comes before the fall
oh, when pride has long since bid her last goodbye
and you can’t just let yourself go
not this time

- vox manicka lyrics

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