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wasaru - sociophobe within lyrics

[verse 1]
i tiptoe on a fence with both sides, displaying painted targets
on the dark side of the moon they’ll lay my naked carc-ss
i’m not ready for a fall, but down to start an autumn
turning each and every leaf the way his teachers never taught us
running out of options, destination weighing on the bank or not to bank on which way we should be taking
the mind is not a safe place, but don’t admit you get scared
or hear footsteps upstairs when no one lives there

[chorus 1]
you can run, but the ghosts won’t leave you
shake the shadows off, light will never reach you
you’re in too deep, don’t let the night eat you
it’s all in your head, it’s all in your head
the monsters are dead

[verse 2]
i crept along a path of fl!ckering dim lights
and washed my sins off in a swamp, begin life
alright, broken mirrors, thinking ugly was the motive
of all these angels pointing and laughing at my emotions
15, posted at the skate park coasting
arm bl–dy, scarring myself to impress girls approaching
pencil to the heart, drew my story on the paper
hid myself within the portaits, and thought art would by major
i was in the 9th grade, when i was pushed around by three kids
told me i’m a f-ggot and i need to get my t–th kicked
if it happens, it happens and maybe it will be
the end of a chapter where my ego faces defeat

[chorus 2]
you could hide, but the wicked will find you
take ahold of your mind and re-design you
you could paint the walls with deep red or fine blues
self esteem is but a dream, don’t let it re-define you

[verse 3]
the last time i wrote a song, was in a college bathroom
scribbling my life away on scr-p after cl-ss
soon lackin’ on the grades, considered the time wasted
what i learned today was i failed and i hate this
to have my efforts graded and subjectively misplaced with
teenage wastes of sp-ce, with bank statements
loaded with the commas, i do not belong with all ya’s
nothin but a slave for squalor, on the bench watching ballers
holler if you got some debt now
here in full effect, if you’re poor let me hear some chest pounds
if you’re insecure, show ’em how the hollows get down
walk like you were never dead, as if your soul has been found
limping in the street, mine was taken from its nest
waiting on a rescue by the lady in the dress
as if liberation came from acceptance and love
learned the key of life was under milestones in the mud
but self esteem never surfaced, homie to dig for this
nails dirty, dug ’em deep enough to find the lyricist
brought ’em to the top and threw his body in the hole again
remain gold, shining from the sociophobe within

- wasaru lyrics

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