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weevildoing - nurse parallel, pmhnp lyrics

i thought that drowning was the only way out of the water
i thought i was another lamb lining up for the slaughter
i was, too, just like you
no way out, no way through
my suffering defined me, no past to put behind me
thought i was cursed, i was the sun and moon’s beloved daughter

i won’t say that it’s easy
you don’t have to believe me
but i’ll believe in you

look inside me and find yourself
the intravenous fluid, the count of your blood cells
within each and every one of your organelles
you are the universe looking back at itself
the future’s never what you planned
it’s not for us to know, not for us to understand
but you don’t have to face it alone, take my hand
i’m a parallel of you, i am, i am, i am

science advances, time goes marching onward, computers sing
and sometimes, when you think it’s over, you just keep on living
and you might feel you’ve died, butchered and brutalized
but when you think it’s too much, you’ll be reborn soon enough

who says you have to live subjected to endless suffering?
i can’t tell you when you’ll be indefinitely happy
but it’s still worth trying
look inside me and find yourself
the parts that i am made of, they know it all too well
they know of the hurt, they know that you’ve been through h+ll
i’m not your enemy, i’m only here to help
the future wasn’t what i planned
the reason for my pain, i will never understand
but i’m done isolating, i hold out my hands
the old brag of my heart says “i am,” “i am,” “i am”

(d+i+s+p+o+s+a+b+l+e, but i don’t have to be)
look inside me and find yourself
(no god to believe in, no god to berate me)
the intravenous fluid, the count of your blood cells
(it’s not over, it’s not like i died, and i want to call what’s left of me alive)
within each and every one of your organelles
(this doesn’t have to be the end, maybe i’ll try it again)
you are the universe looking back at itself
(don’t have to be perfect, i don’t have to be anything at all)
(i can be more than what you want)
the future’s never what you planned
(and so my womanhood began anew, and i could learn forgiveness)
it’s not for us to know, not for us to understand
(my metamorphosis will be beautiful)
(i have a place in the world, i will accept the role)
but you don’t have to face it alone, take my hand
i’m a parallel of you, i am, i am, i am

- weevildoing lyrics

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