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weird al yankovic - my own eyes lyrics

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[intro:]
i saw a baby drive a truck
i saw a junkie eat a tuba
i saw a stripper kiss a duck
behind a dumpster in aruba

[verse 1:]
i saw this fat, psychotic guy
his underwear was made of crickets
he p-wned a skeleton to buy
some old expired lotto tickets

[pre-chorus 1:]
i saw a naked vagrant giving
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
i probably could have gone my whole life
without seeing that

[chorus:]
with my own eyes
i see things that’d drive a normal man insane
wish i could disconnect my brain
from my own eyes

[verse 2:]
i saw a mime get hacked to death
with an imaginary cleaver
i saw an old man’s final breath
i watched him die from bieber fever
i saw these diabetic chicks
in an abandoned 7-eleven
i watched them snorting pixie sticks
while they were belching stairway to heaven

[pre-chorus 2:]
i saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers
they could shove up each other’s nose
i’d like to erase my mind completely but i suppose
that’s just the way it goes

[chorus 2]
with my own eyes
i see things that’d drive a normal man insane
wish i could disconnect my brain
from my own eyes (my own eyes)
those visions haunt my memory
oh, there’s so much i wish i could unsee
with my own eyes

[verse 3:]
some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
and he trained it to m-ssage his back
my guinea pig committed hara-kiri
so we used him to play hacky-sack
my neighbor’s kids sold weapons grade plutonium
and frosty ice-cold lemonade
they took mastercard and sometimes
human organs in trade, that’s how we paid
i have to say that it was really darn good lemonade

[outro:]
with my own eyes
i’ve seen thing that’d drive a normal man insane
wish i could disconnect my brain
from my own eyes (my own eyes)
those visions haunt my memory
oh, there’s so much i wish i could unsee
with my own eyes [repeating]

- weird al yankovic lyrics

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