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what we do in secret - vindication lyrics

i grind my t++th much more now
than just in my dreamless sleep
endlessly wondering what you could have done for me
if you would have just spoken your life over my family

(there is) only one vindication
(you were) never there to begin with
(i’m done) pretending that you care
(i won’t) bow my knee for your benefit

i’m waiting for the winds to change
but the scales never tipped my way
i can’t see the light in the loss of my days

death, burial
repeat, repeat
i’ll never be the same without you here
three years of h+ll
when death surrounded me

the son of my orphaned father and mother
one of many wishing you were still here

i’m waiting for the winds to change
but the scales never tipped my way
i can’t see the light in the loss of my days
i’m strung out on the things i cannot escape
(i can’t escape)
when will i break free
(break free from what’s been holding me?)
this isn’t just my story, but be sure that it’s mine
i watched the ones i love get ripped away by the tide
and i doubted, i cursed
i tried to run and hide
i yelled to the heavens
“god, do you hear my cry?”

but where can i go from your spirit?
and where can i run from your presence?
if i ascend to heaven
or make my bed in h+ll, you’re there
though the darkness is overwhelming
and the light about me like night
but the dark isn’t dark to you
you knit me together in my mother’s womb
you call out to me
“child, i know your scars
i was there next to you
give me a chance, i’ll grab hold of you
give me a chance, and i’ll heal your wounds”

i’ve waited for the winds to change
for the scales to be tipped my way
but now i see that your hand’s holding me
strung out on the things i could not escape
(i could not escape)
but you said i am free
(i’m free, you calmed the storm in me)
death, burial
repeat, repeat
i’ll never be the same without you here
and i know now that i will meet you there

- what we do in secret lyrics

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