why? - gemini (birthday song) lyrics
it starts with you
on a mattress in your parents’ old room
clipping your toenails into the room
like the room will fade
and you will move
onto other rooms
and you will go
to other places.
then the wedding
then the woman p-ssed out
in the driver’s seat
at the order board at white castle.
we woke her up and she went
’round to the pick up window
like she knew exactly where she was.
then i wept
with my face in your night shirt
trying hard as h-ll to say
“until death separates us,”
loosening the skin on your breastbone
i painted your nails
and you sleep
while i write all this down.
there was a moth caught in the soapdish
laminated in lye
will you still remember me well
if i don’t get to two-o-o-five?
my dead line gemini
when we’re on different sides of the globe
i thought we’d keep our veins tangled
like a pair of mic cables
and if there ain’t enough slack to reach
that we’d solder them together
and across oceans they’d stretch.
our faces reflected in separate windshields
and all our body hair pr-cked up
an elephant eyelash.
should we be tempted by thief or saint
it seems i leave and you stay
to crawl the cage and curse.
but don’t regret the done dirt
there is no life plan set
you just swallow the cold
and follow your breath until death.
now even if the will to sleep persists
i can’t ’cause a harsh cloth, it grazes my blisters.
there was a moth caught in the soapdish
laminated in lye
will you still remember me well
if i don’t get to two-o-o-five?
my dead line gemini.
today i fell asleep in a bath of hair.
hair that once sprouted from my own
white wet chalk follicles.
i swallow a coal
and follow my breath
and i did it with the grapefruit soap
thinking of you.
bathed, shaved, and oiled
your legs are two skinny dolphins swimming
between the mattress and the layers of bedding
turning in your drug dry sleep.
when i ask you to kiss my pulse
you offer to start the shower.
i want a verb and you give me a noun.
what do you dream up while i tongue you down?
there was a moth caught in the soapdish
laminated in lye
will you still remember me well
if i don’t get to two-o-o-five?
my dead line gemini.
you know my build.
you know my size.
the degree to which my eyes
are astigmatic.
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