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will gardiner - i want to be hurt lyrics

[verse 1]
the last time i hurt myself
it was in the morning before 10
i scratched my left arm with a bottle cap
left ugly jagged marks on my skin
i had to hide my wrist the rest of the day
well really for a few weeks after
the wounds weren’t that deep but stung like h+ll
but i covered it up with cheap laughter
i wish i could say i had a realization
that hurting myself was a bad thing to do
but in reality i loved it so much
i still think about it when i think about you
[chorus]
i want to be hurt
i want to feel pain
to die in an accident that stops my brain
i want to be gone
i want to be dead
i want a bullet deep in my head

[verse 2]
thе first time i hurt myself
i didn’t evеn use a tool
just punched myself as hard as i could
left bruises i covered up at school
i didn’t even know why i did it
just that i wanted to suffer
to turn that mental pain into something real
i wish i was made of something tougher
but then it became an addiction
something i craved and craved
i can’t even describe that aching
i tried to be strong but i always caved

[chorus]
i want to be hurt
i want to feel pain
to die in an accident that stops my brain
i want to be gone
i want to be dead
i want a bullet deep in my head

- will gardiner lyrics

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