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william finn - stupid things i won't do lyrics

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[adam]
reading papers when there ain’t a review
is a stupid thing
and i won’t do it
when i read i want to read something new
or why read anything at all
wars will always happen
there’s always strife
but opening a show
just happens one time in its life
and that’s why reading papers when there ain’t a review
is a stupid thing that i won’t do

no no no…
you can k!ll me
you can grill me
you can cuff me on the ear
i still won’t do
you can boot me
you can shoot me
but that’s not a thing that i will do

men may laugh
and women may chortle
but there’s a reason i’m immortal
and reading rags when they’re ain’t a review
is a stupid thing that i won’t do

(spoken)
and another thing, while we’re on the subject

(sung)
making movies in hollywood-
stupid thing
i won’t do it
bet your booties i’d be god d-mned good
but that’s not a game that i will play
i’m a seasoned actor
i don’t skate, i don’t dive
the only roles i want
are roles where i’m performing live in person
making movies in hollywood:
is a stupid thing that i won’t do

no, no, you can k!ll me
you can bill me
you can nail me to the wall
i still won’t do it
you can maim me
defame me
but there are certain things i won’t pursue
i’ve achieved my awesome potential
by focusing on what’s essential
and making movies, hollywood:
stupid!

living life like a normal person:
stupid thing
i won’t do it
after five minutes as a normal person
you can lock me in a mental ward
and throw away the key
though i live with p-ssion and joy and rage
the only time i feel alive is when i’m on the stage
and that is why living life
like a normal person
is a stupid thing that i won’t do
no, no

i need theater
i love theater
it’s the food that i eat
eight times a week
god bless theater
life is weirder
maybe not, but whi;s to say
what can be more prim and officious
than cleaning floors and washing dishes
good for them
who can do those things
but they’re not the things that i can do
no, no, no
good for them
who can do thise things
but they’re not things that i can
do do do do do do do do do do do do
those are things that i can’t
never have
never will
be able to do



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