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william gibson, joe raposo, & the premiere cast of rag dolly - diagnosis lyrics

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[doctors]
you’ve got a bromidrosiphobia
which means that there’s a lobe o’ ya poor brain
which isn’t working really right

compound pneumonoconiosis leads to only one prognosis
that supposes you could last ’til tuesday night

so we address the situation with a grave deliberation
as physicians, not magicians who you seek

a case of thrombocytopenia at this stage can only mean ya
got no paddle and you’re really up the creek

because you’re sick, sick, sick
and you ain’t gettin’ better quick, quick, quick
we would do something really good if we could
but we can’t, and we won’t
so we’ll keep right on consulting
please don’t think that we’re insulting

but you’re ill, ill, ill
and boy, for us is that a thrill, thrill, thrill
we’d like to help ya
but your case is complicated
and we know when something’s fated
so relax, enjoy, and please stop asking why
because you’re sick, sick, sick
and we think you’re gonna die
a case of hydroadenosis
that’s our major diagnosis
and how close is your demise, we cannot tell
but this results in melancholia
and as we already tol’ ya
as a whole, you’re really doin’ not so well

you’ve got a bad coxsackievirus
that has now begun to tire us
and we’ve done about as much as we can do!

it doesn’t matter what you’re wishin’
go and call a good mortician
’cause you’re fadin’ fast and you ain’t pullin’ through

because you’re sick, sick, sick!
yer future isn’t worth a l!ck, l!ck, l!ck!
as master surgeons we confess
you’re a mess and we’d like to express
our condolence to your father
gad, it really is a bother

that you’re ill, ill, ill!
and wait until ya’ get tha the bill, bill, bill!
we know you’re sinking
and although we’re glad we met ya
that ol’ reaper’s gonna get ya
so we’ll bid adieu and wave ta ta goodbye!
because you’re sick, sick, sick!
and we know you’re gonna die
hmmmm



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