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william isle - dr. heinz doofenshmirtz (alexander hamilton parody) lyrics

[perry]
how does a disowned, ocelot
stand+in gnome and a prodigy
dropped in the middle of a
forgotten spot
inside of drusselstein;
by providence in squalor
grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

[norm]
the time travel
founding father without a father
got a lot farther by working
a lot harder
by being a lot smarter
by being a self+starter
by age six
he built an inator
that got him started

[major monogram]
and every birthday, his family
wouldn’t stay and play
they went away; he struggled
and kept his guard up
inside, he made a promise
to be better for his daughter
the brother was ready to beg
steal, borrow or barter
[roger]
then his brother got born
and the man’s life was torn
for his father, little roger
would be the one to perform
when they played kickball
roger would always score
and then there was no more
family love to have in store

[perry]
well, the word got around
they said, ‘this kid is insane, man’
sent him to the ‘shctor’
just to send him
to the mainland
through all his evil schemes
he won’t forget from whence he came
and the world’s gonna
know your name
what’s your name, man?

[doofenshmirtz]
dr. heinz doofenshmirtz
my name is
dr. heinz doofenshmirtz
an i will
rule the tri+state area
so just you wait
just you wait
[vanessa]
when he was born
his parents split, full of it
no kidding
two years later see heinz
at the fair, debt+ridden
half dead
being used as the ball
for the dunk tank

[all except doofenshmirtz]
and he smelled like pork
it really, really stank

[milo]
found a friend, balloony
balloony flew up into the sky
left him with nothing
but ruined pride
something new inside:
a voice saying

[all except doofenshmirtz]
‘heinz, you gotta
fend for yourself.’
[milo]
he started retreating
and reading every blueprint on the shelf!

[perry]
there woulda been nothin’
left to do for someone
less astute, he woulda been
dead or destitute without a
cent of restitution
started workin’, clerkin’
as a bratwurst vendor
savin’ up to go to school and
get an evil mentor

[all except doofenshmirtz]
scammin’

[perry]
for every book
he could get his hands on

[all except doofenshmirtz]
plannin’

[perry]
for the future

[all except doofenshmirtz and perry]
ooooh

[perry]
see him now as he stands on the
bow of a ship
headed for a new land
in danville you can
be a new man

[all except doofenshmirtz (doofenshmirtz)]
in danville you can
be a new man
(just you wait)
in danville you can
be a new man
(just you wait)
in danville you can
be a new man
in danville
danville

[doofensmirtz]
just you wait!

[vanessa, norm, and major monogram (perry, milo, and roger)]
dr. heinz doofenshmirtz
(dr. heinz doofenshmritz)
we are waiting
in the wings for you
(waiting in the wings
for you)

[all except doofenshmirtz]
you could never back down
until you were professor
time!
oh

[vanessa, norm, and major monogram (perry, milo, and roger)]
dr. heinz doofenshmirtz
(dr. heinz doofenshmritz)

[all except doofenshmirtz]
when dan povenmire
sings for you
will he know all your
evil schemes?
will he know about agent p?
just watch
it on disney xd!
oh…

[perry (all except perry)]
the ship is in the harbor now
see if you can spot him!
(just you wait!)
another immigrant
comin’ up from the bottom
(just you wait!)
l.o.v.e.m.u.f.f.i.n. destroyed his rep
america forgot him!

[roger and monogram]
we fought with him

[norm]
me? i died for him

[milo]
me? i trusted him

[vanessa]
me? i loved him

[perry]
and me?
i’m the platypus
that shot him

[all except doofenshmirtz]
there’s a million things
i haven’t done
but just you wait!

[perry]
what’s your name, man?

[all]
dr. heinz doofenshmirtz!

- william isle lyrics

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