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willy epson - myself to blame lyrics

i can’t say it to your face because i don’t know what you’ll think so i put it on the track and i say like this
i can’t say it to your face cause that makes my heart sink so i put it on a track and i say it like this
i f-cked up again just another willie effort, life’s a b-tch i’ve got em all stressing
waking up the next day d-mn its depressing, what’s it gonna take to make me learn my lesson
chance after chance time and time again, why can’t i stop i’m going around the f-cking bend
i’m loosing all my friends it’s too late to make amends i’ll have no one left when i have reached the end
i’m a little c-nt ill never change but i ain’t phony its completely understood that you don’t want to know me
thanks for the love and support that you’ve shown me but i’ve know it all along, i’m going to die lonely
that’s just the way it is and that’s the way i am hurting so many people was never the plan
i used to never face my problems or my troubles so i ran but now i’m going to stand and take it like a man
its time to grow up i’m no longer a little boy but that little kid inside he died and got destroyed
i just missed jail got a job and got employed but it’ll never be enough to make up and fill the void
i love making people smile and feel alive on the flip side i ruin people’s lives and make em cry
lying in my bed i can almost hear them sigh what’s it going to take this time to get me by
he’s never going to change man he’ll always been the same a heart full of shame with myself to blame
its so hard waking up every day in pain another day to face with myself to blame
i’ve tried so hard but i’m never going to change, walking around this world with my heart full of shame
when it all went bad i guess it just stays the same i keep myself fighting wicked thoughts in my brain
i know you can relate because you know what i’m saying i put my emotion in the tracks that i’m laying
whenever people get close to me i push them away blood rushes through my veins cause my brain’s insane
i’m in a psychosis i don’t know what i’m saying i’m waking up the next day on my knees praying
people gave me so much and they were so good to me but when you see the reality, they really shouldn’t be
i was down with people that thought they understood me but i don’t know myself so how could it be
every time i went out i’d make a mess i had to mend i’m acting like a menace even to my best friends
now its sorry mate no more this is where the rest stands i pushed away my girlfriend said from the heavens
the things i do disgust me i don’t have no excuse no one’s blamed for staying away to avoid the abuse
a broken heart can’t be fixed like a broken tooth i understand when they’re saying what’s the f-cking use
i know what i’ve done and i admit it but it’s hard, i know i’ve played the wrong cards i know why i’m barred
i’ve been bad from the start and i know i’ve left scars my life going so fast i look back at the past
i’m trying to work it out i’m looking up at the stars if i just didn’t drink and stayed away from the bars
but that’s just how it is man i’ve gotta accept it its all out of control and i wish i never let it
i just run true to form but it’s gotta be expected and it’s also hectic just like you suspected
i tried to make the change but i just stayed the same a bunch of broken hearts with myself to blame

its so hard waking up every day in pain another day to face with myself to blame
i’ve tried so hard but i’m never going to change walking round this world with my heart full of shame
when it all went bad i guess it just stays the same i keep myself fighting with good thoughts in my brain
i know you can but because you know what i’m saying i have no shame in the traps that i’m dying

back when i was 15 i destroyed my family giving them more reason to stay mad at me
i hurt em so much i bet they wished they never had made me it hurts me to say it and i say it sadly
if i could take it back and make it better i would i’d take away the pain in a second if i could
but they can’t be blamed because they never understood, well that’s just life it ain’t all good
it’s way too late but i’m saying that i’m sorry thanks for the support when the cops got on me
my moms at home crying in bandages sobbing, i’m at the magistrates with my dad in the lobby
it was unconditional the love that they gave me but all the help in the world couldn’t save me
i’m trashing my room when the angers raging what the f-ck happened to mommy’s little baby
they gave me everything and i threw it all away then that day came and caught up i had to pay
i’m a f-cking disgrace what more can i say and don’t think for a second that i’m not ashamed
everything i did i have or live with i’m looking back thinking what the f-ck is this
having dreams of dying with my wrists slit and forget that dad was no longer a kid
tins rattling in the back of the lane sins gathering in the back of my brain
with life battling i’ll never be the same i’m never going to change with myself to blame (blame blame)

say it like that i’m not asking for forgiveness just a bit of understanding a bit of insight to how my behavior affects other people and how it affects me, don’t think i just do that sh-t because i don’t care because i do, come on (uh)

its so hard waking up every day in pain, another day to face with myself to blame
i’ve tried so hard but i’m never going to change, walking round this world with my heart full of shame
when it all went bad i guess it just stays the same, i keep myself fighting wicked thoughts in my brain
i know you can relate because you know what i’m saying i put my emotion in the tracks that i’m laying

- willy epson lyrics

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