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wiser observer - just for me and you lyrics

[intro]
just for me and you
just for me and you

it’s late. and my nose itches. it is irritating the h+ll out of me. i look at the corner of my laptop and it’s only 01:57. i’ll push for another hour before trying for bed again. i really do enjoy the quietness of the city at this hour though. all the other students in the building are asleep. or most likely trying to be. either way, it’s quiet. i pull my shoulders back and grin at the sound of the popping resetting in my bones
i hear the quiet creak as my door handle moves. i see it in my peripheral and ignore it. f+ck i’m tired. the handle surprisingly continues. i turn to the door and await as i see it continue to open into my room unbothered. the door reveals its master and i’m still. i’m confused at the sight of you. your name falls out my mouth. you smile innocently; beautifully. i let reality flood back and i finally ask what you’re doing here. you couldn’t sleep. i let out a chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. you’ve walked to the building in the rain and you’re drenched standing in the doorway, and i’m still sitting in my chair like an idiot. i usher you to the bathroom as if the room is massive and complicated; and as if you haven’t been here before
as you enter the bathroom and close the door behind you i allow my thoughts to race again. my thoughts continue to amplify but what i’m most curious about is why you’re here. so late. you should be house sitting. my brain finally simmers down, and i start preparing myself and the room for bed. there’s nothing to do but you’re still in the bathroom and i’m feeling like a guest. you open the door enough for me to see your face and hear your voice. before you can say anything i hand you a pair of my sweatpants and a large shirt that’s too big even for me. you smile again and thank me both for the clothes and for assuming correctly, and then you close the bathroom door. i turn around to finish off my vodka and cranberry in a mug; classy. i start to connect my laptop to the tv. i put on friends for the hundredth time and you come out of the bathroom. you smile again. this time i smile too. for the first time in a while. you move into my chest and put your arms around me. you cling to me longingly. and i do the same; always long enough to remember how great you smell. you pull back slightly for us to be looking at each other. you don’t say anything. i respond the same. you’re not brave enough and neither am i. your eyes dart side to side checking my eyes for something; anything. you gently pull away from me and you retreat to my bed. we’ve been here before, but this time feels different like a serene exhilaration
i switch off the light allowing the tvs amber hum to rinse the room. you finally ask me why i’m up so late. i lie and tell you i’m always up this late. and before you can poke holes in my generic answer i get into bed next to you. thinking. questioning. sabotaging. what if i was asleep? what if i locked my door? what would you have done? well, it doesn’t matter because you’re here now. the comfort of your face hushing the chaos in my head. i pull the covers and instinctively put my arm around you. you interlock your hand with mine and drag it across the bedsheet to your cheek, and we both pretend to watch tv. you ask me if i’m comfortable. i am. i ask if you’re comfortable. you are. rehearsing as if we haven’t done this before. each time getting more comfortable than the last. but this time’s different. my heart is thrashing much louder than usual. i’m scared it’s nudging you back and forth. this time’s different. you turn around to face me with your eyes noticeably closed. these were the moments i live for. the subtle physical movements that said absolutely nothing but screamed with invitation. this time’s different as i simultaneously hear the show on tv and feel everything humanly possible this moment is drowning me in. the tv characters are at it again. stuck between moving on and fighting. holding on. they’re saying out loud what we’re characteristically too stupid to say to each other. this time’s different. the tv is just the right volume when n0body’s saying anything. the silence pulls your eyes open. looking at me. this time not asking but telling. i move my face closer. everything i was able to hear drops out to nothingness and your thoughts are blaring out of your soul. i finally rest my lips on yours and you hurriedly press back

[bridge]
just for me and you
just for me and

just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
just for you and for me, baby
(just for you)
so here we are in my bed again but this time’s different because i had made the decision to let go of the comfort and narcissistic hope, but of course, this was the night of all nights that strange house got to you. the night when we still all had a fingerprint access regardless of what floor it was. the night i left my door open. the night i couldn’t sleep. later you would tell me that you didn’t expect things to get that far. you had come to just sleep in my arms again and i wondered if you were naïve or just dishonest. we didn’t even say anything after it happened we just held each other tighter. the tv content and dim. and in the darkness, i almost thought i saw you smile. and before i closed my eyes i assured myself. this time will be different

- wiser observer lyrics

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