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witt lowry - voicemail (skit) lyrics

[-voicemail-]
please enter your p-sscode then press pound. four new messages, one saved message. first new message–

[-billy on phone-]
“hey mark, umm, it’s billy. i don’t know if you remember me from high school but uhh, i’m just calling to let you know your music f-cking sucks. umm really dude i remember you from high school really dude you are not a rapper. stop. stop trying to rap. i mean, i noticed that i could let you know he’s my boy. uhm, he has a couple of mixtapes out and you might be able to get a couple of pointers from him. but dude you f-cking suck. own it, stop doing what you’re doing. have a nice day, f-ck you.”

[-voicemail-]
next message–

[-woman on phone-]
umm, hey mark, it’s been a whole week now since you called me and when i call you, you never seem to pick up. i know you think you’re some kind of sick rapper now but really, you can’t find time for a phone call? well, you’ve lost your chance with me now and just so you know i’m on my way out to a party with a bunch of dudes i met the other night and there’s a good chance that i’m gonna f-ck one of them, or all of them. whatever. so i guess that’s it. no big deal though you probably have a small p-n-s anyways. good luck with all the sh-t you’re doing. see you around… or not

[-voicemail-]
next message–

[-guy on phone-]
ohhh, hey mark. i heard you’re doing that rap sh-t now, huh? what’s your rapper name, witty? -chuckles- more like f-cking sh-tty. if you’re so f-cking witty why aren’t you a millionaire, or a f-cking corporate co job right now. get a real f-cking job. instead of this bullsh-t rap game these days where these white -ss boys, they make it sound like pac and wayne on the mic. you sound like a motherf-cking angry member of the new kids on the block. your flow is as good as something that comes out of your grandmother’s v-g-n-. and no, that is not a good thing cause i know how you f-cking p-ssy motherf-ckers, twiddle each others b-lls to double entendres sound f-cking cool in your songs. what are you gonna do when another sick performance at premiere at one of the small -ss clubs like, ‘the salty dog.’ rap sucks. you suck. blank, period, end

[-voicemail-]
next message–

[-witt lowry’s mom on phone-]
hey mark it’s mom. i just wanted to make sure you’re okay, wanted to know if you are coming home for dinner. make sure you drive careful. love you. see you soon, buh-bye

- witt lowry lyrics

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