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wolves of glendale - the gym lyrics

[verse 1: ethan edenburg with tom mcgovern & eric jackowitz]
i’m on my way to the gym
new shirt, new shorts, new shoes, new socks
new me
it’s a brand new me
i say “what up?” to tim
he’s the guy that signed me up for a three+year contract
i’m locked in for three
i do my stretching routine
got a thing with my neck and my hip and my back and my foot
warming up is important

and now i’m ready for
dumbells, treadmills, rowing machine
nothing is available, it’s pretty crowded in here
so i do seven pushups

[chorus: tom mcgovern, ethan edenburg, & eric jackowitz]
and then i go to mcdonald’s
i get a filet+o+fish and a double quarter pounder with cheese
20+piece chicken nuggies
and then i go to wеndy’s
get a spicy chicken sandy with fries and a frosty
i dip my friеs in the frosty

[verse 1: ethan edenburg with tom mcgovern & eric jackowitz, tom mcgovern]
my second day at the gym
got a workout plan online from a navy seal
it’s the real f+ckin’ deal
yesterday was a wash
went a little overboard with the food, but that’ll count as my cheat day
even the rock as a cheat day
so now i’m gonna eat
chicken, broccoli, pinto beans
milk, eggs, pasta, no (mm+mm!)
that was a test, i passed the pasta test

[chorus: tom mcgovern, ethan edenburg, & eric jackowitz, tom mcgovern]
oh, let’s go
i’m at the gym
shiggi+dun+dun, shiggi+dun+dun, gym
starin’ at my phone, watching a show
wheel of fortune
i hope everyone wins

oh, i do a bicep curl and i take a break
i do three whole squats and i take another break again
only this one’s longer

and then i go to a strip club
they got a sushi buffet
i think the stripper likes me
i think i’m gonna get laid
so i start drinking a lot
i call the bouncer a loser
he throws me into the street
and i get hit by a cab
and i go into a coma

[bridge: eric jackowitz, tom mcgovern, tom mcgovern, ethan edenburg, & eric jackowitz]
i wake up
the doctor tells me i’ve been asleep for a year
i shed a single tear
i can’t believe i’m alive
i won’t take nothing for granted
i got the heart of a lion
i’m a miracle of science

and so i get discharged from the hospital
i say “thank you, god, now i understand”
i finally know who i am

so i rob a bank
and now i’m on the run with $23,000
robbing a bank is a rush
i get a fradulent passport
i change my name to roberto
and then i move to havana
where i run a c+ckfight
and train the chickens to cheat
someone tells the mob
they beat me to death with a bat
and no one cares that i died
[outro: tom mcgovern, ethan edenburg, & eric jackowitz]
i should’ve gone to the gym
i should’ve gone to the gym
i should’ve gone, i should’ve gone to the gym

- wolves of glendale lyrics

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