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woodie smalls - confession skit lyrics

[skit: woodie smalls & father]
“bless me, father, for i have sinned. it’s been about four months since my last confession.”
“yes, my son?”
“well, i don’t know where to start father.”
“have you taken the name of jesus christ in vain?”
“yeah, yeah, i–”
“disrespected your mother and father?”
“mm-hmm.”
“have you stolen or cheated your fellow man?”
“yeah, but i’m not proud of it.”
“have you had impure thoughts or engaged in impure deeds?”
“oh, father, you have no idea.”
“is there something else you want to tell me, in your own words?”
“wait, no, i’ve done all crazy kinds of sh-t. excuse me, father. ah, excuse me, father. f-ck, i’m– cursed to have a dirty mouth. look, i’m sorry ’bout that. can we just go on?”
“ten hail marys, five our fathers.”

- woodie smalls lyrics

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