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worm quartet - hair on the soap: unclogged lyrics

there’s a hair on my soap
an ugly little thing
a little pubic souvenir upon my irish spring
there’s a hair on my soap
it’s curly, long, and fine
there’s a hair on the soap
and i don’t think it’s mine
my roommate must have used it
cuz i see his soap is gone
it was just a sliver yesterday
and now it has passed on
i feel for his predicament
but still it isn’t fair
just cuz he used up his ivory
why should i bathe in his hair?

there’s a hair on my soap
a hair on my soap
can’t rinse it off, can’t scr+pe it off
i don’t know how to cope
with this hair on my soap
this hair on my soap
just thought i’d take a shower
but i’ve given up all hope

the water’s pouring down on me
and splashing in the drain
the shampoo’s running in my eyes
i’m wincing from the pain
i can’t deal with the horror
of this most disgusting find
this sample of his dna
my roommate left behind
i look around the tub
my other roommate’s soap is there
it’s shiny white and barely used
devoid of pubic hair
so i used it and put it back
where it’s supposed to go
and i think that it’s the perfect crime
but little do i know
i left a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
well at least it’s less disgusting
than to find one in your scope
there’s a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
the cycle goes forever
and i don’t know how to cope

(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)
(la la la la)

there’s a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
even in the yuppie bathrooms
where they hang it on a rope
they’ll still find hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
and not one of us is safe
h+ll, i’d even bet the pope
has found a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
could be from somebody’s balding head
or from their +n+l slope

there’s a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
could be from a person, from a dog
or from an antelope

there’s a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
this [?] was greenish when i started
now it’s looking kind of taupe

there’s a hair on the soap
a hair on the soap
i’m totally out of rhymes now
and there’s no way this line is going to scan

there’s a hair on the soap
there’s a hair on the soap
there’s a hair on the soap
there’s a hair on the soap
dammit

- worm quartet lyrics

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