william shatner – i can lyrics
william shatner/henry rollins
bill: let’s go. ready? from the top…
bill: my favorite shows on tv have twelve minutes of advertising. i can’t get behind that kind of time!
rollins: eat quickly. drive faster. make more money now! i can’t get behind that.
bill: my kids say: he said to me, and i’m like… and he’s like… and she’s like…
rollins: it’s all… he’s all… she’s all…
bill: i can’t get behind that kind of like, english!
bill: that’ll be six to eight weeks before delivery.
rollins: the rising oceans, the warming temperatures!
bill: the dying polar bears–no, tigers–in fifty years!
rollins: rising poison in the air and water!
bill: i can’t understand why the price of gas suddenly rises when oil goes up…
rollins: …but takes months to go down long after oil falls!
bill: i can’t get behind any of that!
bill: i can’t get behind the gods, who are more vengeful, angry, and dangerous if you don’t believe in them!
rollins: why can’t all these gods just get along? i mean, they’re omnipotent and omnipresent, what’s the problem?
bill: what’s the problem?
bill: what about the men who say ‘do as i do. believe in what i say, for your own good, or i’ll kill you!’ i can’t get behind that!
rollins: i can’t get behind that! everybody knows everything about all of us!
bill: that’s too much knowledge!
both: i can’t get behind that!
bill: yeah! and what about student drivers using my streets to learn? if you learn to play the drums you got to go to a studio! go to a parking lot, for god’s sake! why are you jeopardizing my life? i can’t get behind a student driver!
rollins: i can’t behind a driver who drives like a student driver! if you’re going to drive an urban -ssault vehicle then get off the phone and keep your eyes on the road!
rollins: lifetime guarantee?
bill: who’s lifetime? not mine! i haven’t that much time left. let’s make it yours. everybody’s got a longer life than me!
bill: the leaf blowers, is there anything more futile?
rollins: car alarms.
bill: clap off.
rollins: clap on.
bill: spam.
rollins: size matters.
bill: no, it doesn’t!
rollins: yes, it does!
bill: no, it doesn’t.
rollins: yes, it does!
bill: no, it doesn’t!
rollins: yes, it does!
bill: no, it doesn’t! no, it doesn’t!
rollins: yes, it does! yes, it does!
bill: my phone rings!
rollins: make millions in minutes!
bill: it’s a computer!
rollins: lose inches in hours!
bill: leave me the h-ll alone!
rollins: eat more! spend less!
bill: the colonel is breakdancing! give me a break!
rollins: credit terms raised!
bill: i can’t get behind any of that!
bill: i can’t get behind so-called singers that can’t carry a tune, get paid for talking, how easy is that? well, maybe i could get behind that!
rollins: well, i can’t! if you have to fix it with a computer: quantized, pitch corrected, and overly inspected, then you can’t do it, and i can’t get behind that!
bill: i–can’t–get behind–a fat -ss!
rollins: yeah, bill, can you turn around and do one more?
bill: always can do one more.
rollins: let’s h-t it!
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