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xania monet - even after lyrics

[intro]
mm, mm

[verse 1]
i didn’t want to do this
i swear to god, i didn’t
but you pushed me there
and now i can’t breathe inside my own skin

[pre+chorus]
i begged you to love me right
i begged you to see me
but you kept turning away
kept leaving me empty
i laid in that bed
but my heart wasn’t there
i was searching for something that should have been you
and now i hate myself for it

[refrain]
i let him hold me ’cause you wouldn’t stay
i let him in ’cause you pushed me away
but every touch felt hollow, every kiss felt wrong
and the moment it was over, i knew where i belonged

[chorus]
even after the sin, i still feel so, so broken
even after the act, there’s words left unspoken
i tried to find me, but i lost who i am
god knows this was never the plan
i gave my body, but my soul never moved
even after i still love you
[verse 2]
i keep scrubbing my skin like i can wash it away
but the guilt runs deeper than water can chase
i thought maybe the touch would make me feel alive
but instead, i feel numb while this part of me dies
you say i betrayed you, but baby, so did you
i just bled where you broke me, did what i swore i’d never do

[pre+chorus]
i can’t sleep i can’t pray
i cannot run what i became
i whisper my sins into the dark
but even god don’t take the blame

[chorus]
even after the sin, i still feel so broken
even after the act, there’s pain left unspoken
i tried to find me, but i lost who i am
god knows this was never the plan
i gave my body, but my heart stayed with you
and even after i’m still yours

[outro]
it wasn’t love, it wasn’t me
and it’ll never set me free

- xania monet lyrics

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