xersize - scars lyrics
[verse 1 – xersize]
you talk about issues? i guess i got a few
you really wanna listen? okay, gimme a minute or two
you know about anxiety? ’cause i sure do
or should we start with abandonment? that’s a good one, too
you’re getting close to someone, finally start to open up
but you’re scared everyday and all you really wanna do is shut
the door you opened to’em, get away before they hurt you
if you’re already alone, then there’s n0body to desert you
now logically you know that this person isn’t the last one
and you know that what you’re feeling is just trauma from a past love
but you can’t shake the feeling that they will do you the same
and you’ll have to live through the losses over again
so at the first sign of struggle, fight or flight just starts to kick in
it hits you in your chest, feels like your heart just really caves in
the adrenaline starts to pump, the sweat’s already drippin’
you feel it in the pit of your stomach, that feeling is so sickening
how can you have a relationship when you can’t trust another being?
how can you start a family with somebody that ain’t seeing
the fact that they will leave you when they see this side of you
if you don’t flee first, that is, and then that is on you
[chorus – madeleine]
oooooh
the scars i bear
in my mind
oooooh
makes it hard
to survive
[verse 2 – xersize]
wait, what was that first one? oh yeah, i remember now
anxiety, your closest friend, he’s been with you forever now
you grow up with one another, you two even share a room now
and guess who is the bigger spoon? it sure as sh+t ain’t you now
see, you can have a perfect day where everything is going great
and then just like that everything just starts to disintegrate
for no apparent reason, but the heartbeat’s in your ears
and the room starts to spin and all you’re hearing is your fears
they’re laughing at you loudly, and look, here come the tears
you’re gonna have a black out again? maybe down a couple beers?
but you know that it don’t help, right? drinking makes it worse
even though you feel like it’s impossible that it can hurt
it can’t get any worse, right? well, i saved the best one for last
i think he’s coming up the driveway, he’s always going fast
but yeah, he’s pulling up now, let me get the door
and show you the only thing that we both fear even more
[chorus – madeleine]
oooooh
the scars i bear
in my mind
oooooh
makes it hard
to survive
[verse 3 – xersize]
let me introduce you; this here is depression
he’s just a result of every feeling you’re suppressin’
everything you lock inside? this guy make sure it stays in
so he can feed from everything, every feeling that you bring
he sits there and takes his time, and when it’s right he stops by
and when he’s here you’ll know it, there’s not a second then that goes by
without his intervention, he’ll bleed you ’till you feel dry
sometimes even literally, you know them scars you try to hide?
it may have been your hand that held the razor or the sharp knife
but he’s the one laughing from the back, in the shadows behind
he’s the ugly face you see in the mirror every time
and he’s the voice inside your mind that feeds you all the lies
that makes you feel so worthless, all the nights where you just cried
and every sunny morning where you wished that you just died
peacefully in your sleep, he’s the one behind it all
he’s not your best friend, he’s the reason that you always fall
i know he keeps a tight grip, but trust me, that’s not love
he’s a culmination of everything i said above
abandonment, anxiety, doubt and so much more
he is everything combined that beat you down unto the floor
look at you, laying there, sobbing uncontrollably
when all these dark feelings are robbing you emotionally
i’m sorry that you have to go through this all on your own
but then again, with these guys with you, you’ll never be alone
[chorus – madeleine]
oooooh
the scars i bear
makes it hard
oooooh
makes it hard
to survive
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