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xójira - a thank you note, pt.3 lyrics

god knows how i tried
god knows how i tried
i can’t be like this forever i gotta grow out of it
if i don’t grow out of it
i’m gonna f+cking put a bullet in my f+cking head
i gotta grow out of it

i remember when i was a kid
i used to think about nothingness in the backseat of my moms car
i would literally feel how it is to not be alive
i remember how empty that feeling was when i was only five
it haunts me every day
i’d hike to the top of the hills and think about how life would be
if i were to just jump
if i were to just jump
then maybe i wouldn’t have felt all the things that i felt
but who knows

maybe every place that i incarnate is just a h+ll for me
i gotta repay for the sh+t that i did
i try to be a good person
but everyone knows how that works out
there has to be an end to this sh+t

i guess there’s no way out, is there?
i’m just as human as you

- xojira lyrics

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