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xpwew - friday night pyro (november 27th, 2020) lyrics

date: november 27th, 2020

location: the barracks in los angeles, california

episode: 454

channel: vice network @ 10pm est standard time / 7pm pacific time

+pyro opening montage sequence+
+ xpwew world heavyweight champion leonard mcgraw is here with the scars on his forehead from last sunday night at battlefield to prove it. mcgraw has a white bandage on his forehead and white bandage tape around his waist, above that however the xpwew world title on his waist. mcgraw hoists the gold up and declares “i wеnt to battlefield, i had a knock on the door. i answеred the sum b+tch and i said “what the h+ll do you want?” well this big b+st+rd looked down at me, about 7 foot tall, big cat. he said “i’m the gatekeeper”. i looked back at him and said “well i’m leonard mcgraw and i can and will burn that god d+mn gate to the ground!”+ + +

mcgraw: i like to eat and h+ll i probably have put on 15 pounds since battlefield when i beat jake awesome. i’ll say that again i defeated jake awesome. i’m hungry, i’m so d+mn hungry. i will eat the ring. i will eat the ropes. i’ll eat the d+mn boards and bolts up under this motherf+++er i will eat the set alive! now i’ll admit i’m kind of a one track mind sumb+tch so i didn’t catch most of the pay+per+view until after i had a hearty thanksgiving meal and well, i seen that golden bryce and his band of bandits just wasn’t enough to beat ruckus and the sorry sons of a b+tches that call themself “the set”. h+ll as far as i’m considered son they all need to grow a set, godd+mn i mean jordan oliver still looks like a little girl out there, why they didn’t censor that image is beyond me (titan tron shows still image of the set post victory of a shirtless jordan oliver from the battlefield 5 on 5 match.)

+ the set enters + jordan, myron, kotto, ruckus, siaka, jake & chrissy

jordan: listen you dumb f+++ hillbilly. n0body cares about you, ok you may be the world champion but i am the real champion for 464 days i, jordan oliver have been the champion. the juniorweight champion

kotto: and miss cleo, leo that is the real belt

ruckus & lexoni: laughing (clowning mcgraw)

mcgraw: well i see everybody up there goosin’ and giggling like school girls, or like jordan oliver cause he still looks like a schoolgirl. everybody up that ramp has got a stupid look on there face meanwhile jake awesome, look at ’em, looking like he ain’t slept in a week, lookin’ like he just wiped his tears with his little grubby hand. that b+st+rd knows that that little bullsh+t belt, you got jordan. it ain’t the real belt, ain’t never gonna be the real belt. h+ll jake awesome even knows it son that’s why he ain’t up there goofin with the rest of ya. as a matter of fact i got a challenge for you jordan

jake: shut up. leonard you are as predictable as you are stupid, i know what you are gonna do, ok and you are not a juniorweight and you definitely can’t be after you gorged and turkey and cranberry sauce all night i’m sure you aren’t. instead, i got a challenge for you. myron reed. last sunday myron reed in the 5 on 5 eliminated more men than anybody in the set. i watched, and i saw and as i promised to my brothers. whoever impressed me the most would get my political assistance and with that i pick myron reed

(myron smiles and handshakes jake, jordan and kotto look a little annoyed that jake didn’t select them however myron did have a h+lluva star making performance in the team bryce vs set 5 on 5 match)
myron: thank you jake, i don’t know if i ever told you this but, i love you

leonard: what the f+ck is this sh+t, huh, why am i even listening to this bullsh+t clubhouse nonsense, hey myron. get done kissing your d+mn daddy and name the match. name the place. name the time

myron: you ain’t going to intimidate me, you ain’t gonna do sh+t, so know your place. it is the myron reed show now. you are tuned in, (get that camera right here) this is xpwew friday night hot fiyah. friday night myron. i am box+office and i am the next world champion. leonard mcgraw, on december 20th at the next ppv, these peasants gotta pay to see me wrestle. fatality! (jordan and kotto start almost complaining and jake shuts them up “shh shhh shhh, you’ll get your opportunity, you’ll get your opportunity”

(champagne clausen enters)

champagne: no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! i won my match against gt at battlefield. no no no. i won at battlefield. i got screwed by that cripple all man way before the earth went mad. when i lost the title, covid 19 started and just on that front alone if you want the world to come back to normal i should be the world champion. i should be (leonard clotheslines champagne to get him to shut up, what an opening segment)

+ “afro punk” trish adora enters

+ jamie hayter from stardom enters with her buddy bea priestley

1 on 1

m1: trish adora def. jamie hayter (w/ bea priestley)

after the match: priscilla comes to what appears to be the aid of trish adora, however priscilla yanks her hair and trish flat backs on the mat and then priscilla, bea and jamie all start ganging up on her 3 on 1. priscilla kelly turns heel and has joined the baddies bea and jamie

priscilla “this is the bad girls club” and we do not take s++it. where i come from, you talk s++t, you get hit. but it’s not just us 3. we have a 4th. we have acquired another member of the bad girls club and that woman is tenille dashwood. all woman!
+ all woman enters with her “best friend” romeo roselli and all man who is still confined to a wheelchair since his match against jake awesome last summer at heatwave

tenille: i’ve been in xpwew for a while. i’ve supported my husband when he won the world title and i have cheered on my best friend romeo roselli in his case your luck world title aspirations but what about me, what about tenille. so that’s why the women’s division is about to get a taste of tenille!

(while all woman’s actions didn’t appear as heelish she did just associate her with the newly formed tandem “the bad girls club” which i guess makes her. defacto heel, however we will see in the time coming forward.)

1 on 1

m2: death machines joe gacy & audrey carbine def. 3m3 (3m ultra & m3 quintillo)

post match: briscoe brothers come out and boast about what they are gonna make the vaudevillans do, gacy says “shut up, you dumb hicks. i don’t care about animals and bullsh+t. in this industry it’s about titles not getting an alligator to bite aiden english on his bony ass! briscoes go face to face with death machines, however it was a hoax and a wash just long enough to get vaudevillans to attack jay and mark briscoe from behind! until the xpwew tag team champs golden bryce and alveno come down and even the odds! gm troy clausen makes it a huge 8 person tag next week on pyro!

bryce, alveno, jay & mark briscoe vs simon gotch, aiden english and the death machines!!!! however right now! we are gonna mix it up! golden bryce will team with jay briscoe to take on the team of joe gacy & simon gotch! right now!

tag team mismatch match

m3: golden bryce & jay briscoe def. simon gotch & joe gacy

post match: alveno and mark briscoe come down and congratulate bryce and jay however, mark grabs alveno’s tag belt, looks at it just a moment too long and then places it back on alveno’s shoulder and plants the seed that they might want a shot at those tag titles soon! masato tanaka comes from out the curtain immediately after to get his revenge on ruckus who he debts as the “head of the set”

main event time
1 on 1

m4: masato tanaka (w/ bryce & alveno) def. ruckus (w/ jake, siaka, kotto, chrissy (thanks to a tip off from coby caprice who then gets jumped for his efforts by the set)

jake awesome comes out and fires coby caprice (jake has the power to do so because coby caprice only has an awesome bomb academy contract and not an xpwew contract. champagne comes out and makes his case to awesome that he should be # 1 contender, awesome is uamused, myron reads off champagne when they go back and forth, champagne backs up and implores that they will all pay. el demonio then jumps champagne and they brawl at the ramp but ultimately champagne using a steel chair is the equalizer and he leaves el demonio in a heap for a brutal conchairto! champagne might be in line despite jake’s advance from myron reed. myron challenges champagne next week, winner will be the number 1 contender for mcgraw at fatality. troy clausen makes it a lumberjack match!

so next week!

champ vs champ: mcgraw vs jordan oliver

# 1 contender match: myron reed vs champagne clausen

mark briscoe & alveno la flare vs aiden english & audrey carbine

doxy & hogan vs tenille dashwood & priscilla kelly

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