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yaux - autophobia lyrics

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[intro]
“you need stimulation. don’t look up. you’ll hear it all over again.”
“all over again.”
“all over again.”
“all over again.”

autophobia is the fear of being alone or being lonely. being alone, even in the comfort of your own home, can result in severe anxiety

[verse]
i put on makeup
i hide behind my mask so i do not have to go face ’em
if i was dating me i might just go ahead and break up
i do not wanna be another rat up in the race, uh
and i don’t wanna throw away my life to get my cake up

but i can’t be alone for a minute now
staring at my phone i need to sеt it down
it’s tearing out my bones, trynna rip ’em out
and i can’t lеt it show i cannot let it out

unless it’s in my studio
cause then it just seems cool, ya know
but i can never stop these thoughts
about my own self growing old

unless it’s in my studio
cause then it just seems cool, ya know
but i can never stop these thoughts
about my own self growing old
i been hit below the belt
i been trynna hurt myself
cause this pain is what i felt
and it’s better than not feeling sh+t

nothing matters in the end so why should i not quit
me and you gon’ share the dirt in just a little bit
every time i try to talk i’m feeling interrupted
feel the irony, my strings been pulled just like a puppet
but i don’t have a master or a god cause who’d create me?
no good force would tear me down when i’m alone and eat me

stomach churn
feel my insides f+cking burn
it’s absurd, i haven’t learned
how to approach this curve

of my life
and it seems to get worse every time i try
when i die
do not act like you knew me because you didn’t
you ain’t with it

i remember my friends would laugh at me when i’d f+cking spit it
this the only f+ckin’ way i know to stay up and not quit it
shut your mouth ‘for i f+cking shut it for you, uh
go and live your life trynna have everyone adore you
p+ssy, uh

[outro]
i’m scared of myself, i’m scared of myself
i’m scared of myself, i’m scared of myself
i’m scared of myself, i’m scared of myself
i’m scared of myself, i’m scared of myself

i hide behind my mask so i do not have to go face ’em
if i was dating me i might just go ahead and break up
i do not wanna be another rat up in the race, uh
and i don’t wanna throw away my life to get my cake up

- yaux lyrics

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