yayu - disorganized attachment lyrics
[verse 1: ian danskin]
this talk is called isolation engulfment and pain
the dog jumps up again but this time the kid steals themself
they don’t run away they, pet the dog and then the dog’s happy, the kid’s happy, you’re happy
success
this is a fundamental piece of a child’s emotional development
they take a risk, have a negative experience and retreat to a point of comfort
then having receive that comfort, they feel bolsterеd enough to take a slightly greatеr risk
a healthy childhood is steadily venturing further and further from that point of comfort and taking on greater risks
securing the knowledge that safety is there when they need it and as an adult they will form many interdependent points of comfort rather than relying on only one or two
if all goes according to plan that is secure attachment
but
sometimes things go wrong when kids seeks comfort and doesn’t get enough
this may be because the adult is withholding or the kid doesn’t know how to express their needs or they’re just a particularly fearful child
but the kid may start seeking comfort more than seems reasonable and be particularly averse to risk and over focus on the people who give them comfort because they’re operating at a deficit
we call that anxious attachment
alternately
the kid may give up on receiving comfort altogether even though they still need it and just go it alone developing a distrust of other people and a fear of being vulnerable
we call that avoidant attachment
now these styles are all formed in early childhood, but stine focuses on a fourth kind of attachment style that can be formed formed at any age regardless of the style you came in with
it’s what happens when the negative experience and the comfort come from the same place
we see it in children and adults who are mistreated by the people they trust
it’s called disorganized attachment
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