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your favorite martian - orphan tears (full trilogy) lyrics

[verse 1: humbert]
it was a weekend, and you can’t stop
us from going to the local dance spot
instead of drinking imported beers
somebody brought a bottle of orphan tears
we popped the top, we knew what was in it
yeah, we were all so stupid to sip it
orphan tears are so hallucinogenic
i took one drink and saw a two+headed midget (hey!)
then the room filled with colors and shapes
and suddenly deejay was covered in snakes
oh snap! and what made it worse
was i swear i saw a unicorn humping a smurf
then a rainbow appeared out of wax’s ass
he passed some gas and it snappеd in half
yo deejay! are you still there?
yеah, i’m trying to hook up with this girl in a wheelchair
alright, chill there, i think a bulimic
care bear might pick a fight with jesus
i don’t believe it, i’m gonna be sea sick
these orphan tears are about to make me trip

[chorus: humbert & deejay]
little children, near and far
don’t know where your parents are?
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears
[verse 2: deejay & humbert]
uh, huah
these orphan tears got me feeling like i ain’t felt before
i tried to bust+a+move but fell asleep on the dance floor
+snoring+ “hey dude, get up!”
i swear i saw bill cosby like, “h+llo with the pudding!”
he was dancing in his underwear showing off his woody
i ran to the bathroom, everything’s in slow+mo
i couldn’t throw up, ’cause the toilet bowl called me a h0m+ (h0m+!)
i barfed up a kitten, (meow!) and i’m feeling strange
sippin’ these orphan tears, now it’s got me seeing things

[verse 3: wax]
all up in the vip section, straight relaxed
the dj playin’ my favorite tracks
waitress asks, “what can i bring you?”
i said, “the most expensive thing on the menu”
she came back with a glass of liquid
i said, “i asked for somethin’ different
this looks like a normal beer”
she said, “naw, it’s orphan tears”
took a swig, then i walked down where the dance floor is
whole club lookin’ like a forest
dj turned into a brontosaurus
everybody in the club looked like chuck norris
i tried to run to the bathroom but when
i did, i felt a vacuum suction
pulling me back slow
dance floor turned into a black hole
spinnin’ ’round horribly
feelin’ like dorothy
woke up and was still at home
orphan tears got us in the zone
[chorus: puff puff & deejay]
little children, near and far
don’t know where your parents are?
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears
little children, near and far
don’t know where your parents are?
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears

[bridge: bill cosby]
h+llo with the pudding!
pud+pud+pud+pud+pudding!
he+he+h+llo with pudding, pudding (bill cosby)
pudding! (bill cosby)
pudding! (bill cosby)
pudding! (bill cosby)
pudding! (bill cosby)
[verse 4: puff puff humbert & cartoon wax]
‎‎‎‏‏‎and we’re back, back to the disco
back to the music, back to the flashing lights! (we’re here!)
went straight to the bar like
“ayy, let me get a round of orphan tears on ice!”
i only took one sip, and it’s kickin’ in
i said, “hey, wax, can you help me?” (nah.)
“it’s kinda funny everybody calls you wax
’cause everything is melting.”
my left hand turned to scooby+doo (zoinks!)
i got chased around by a gucci shoe!
i heard an explosion behind me
i didn’t look back, like the people in the movies do!
i saw a gang of tiny he+men
i prayed to morgan freeman
it’s snowin’, now i’m glowin’
orphan tears, man, i must be dreamin’

[chorus: stevi the demon, puff puff humbert]
little, children near and far
don’t know where your parents are
cry, directly in this jar!
i will drink it at the bar, cool

[drop: humbert]
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears!
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears

[verse 5: cartoon wax]
one shot, two shot, three shots, four of ’em
into my body go the tears of an orphan
my brain releases endorphins!
look around, and everything started morphin’!
what i thought was a c+cktail waitress
became a yellow aardvark with braces (hi!)
we followed her into a far away place
in which it was dark and there were dozens of cages
little cartoon pigs inside ’em
i was laughin’, takin’ pictures by ’em
look closer, the pigs were cryin’?
what in god’s name is this signifyin’?
in a daze, all of us were lost
hours passed and the drugs wore off
wait, we’re in a warehouse building
those aren’t pigs, those are actually little children?

[chorus: stevi the demon, puff puff humbert]
little children near and far
don’t know where your parents are
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar, cool

[drop: humbert]
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sip+sippin’ on orphan tears
sip+sippin’ on, sip+sip+sippin’ on
er+ey+er+ey, sippin’ on orphan tears

[verse 6: puff puff humbert, bill cosby]
we had found a bunch of kids workin’ in a sweatshop
and they would cry into mason jars and bottle it up
we gotta help ’em out of here, i’m not an engineer
but i think these orphan tears are made from actual orphan’s tears!
suddenly bill cosby appeared in the doorway right behind me (h+llo)
he was ten feet tall in a top hat
ready to fight me in his whitey+tighties!
pretty sure bill’s in charge of the place
’cause he swolled up, lookin’ like a grizzly bear
that bloodsucker looked us dead in the face
“these children aren’t going anywhere!”
(rahh!)

[bridge: stevi the demon]
sip, sippin’ on
sip, sippin’ on
sip, sippin’ on orphan tears

[verse 7: wax & bill cosby]
the story continues real oddly (huh?)
i’m starin’ at bill cosby (what the?)
thinkin’ that we’ll probably
have to attempt to k!ll cosby (let’s get him)
i was scared and my legs were wobblin’ (ooh)
but i knew that we had to stop him
i could hear the orphans sobbin’
my morals made me confident (mmmh)
i screamed out, “get ’em, y’all” (let’s get him)
and the place turned into a frickin’ brawl (uh)
a lot of kung+fu punches and kicks involved (pssh)
to the legs, to the body, to the lips and jaw (pssh, pssh)
it was a really good fight we were puttin’ up (uh)
but bill cosby just wouldn’t budge (nope)
he kept eatin’ them pudding cups (hey)
it was hard to beat him, he was super tough
punch after punch, he just kept on clockin’ me
while he was doin’ it, he was doin’ comedy (that’s weird)
it was pretty funny, honestly
i hate to admit, then i snapped out of it
when he used his sweater as a makeshift whip (wah pssh)
hit me in the legs and he made me trip
man, we were gettin’ our asses kicked (ayy)
and that wasn’t even the last of it (uh+uh)
cosby snapped his fingers and he screamed out, “robots!”
soon we were surrounded by some—you guessed it, robots
but these weren’t normal robots that we saw standin’ before us (nah)
they were all pure evil and they looked just like chuck norris (get ’em!)

[chorus: puff puff humbert]
little children, near and far
don’t know where your parents are
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar
little children, near and far
don’t know where your parents are
cry directly in this jar
i will drink it at the bar

[post+chorus: stevi the demon & puff puff humbert]
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on orphan tears (they got me sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on orphan tears

[verse 8: puff puff humbert & bill cosby]
i got a lot of robot chucks all around me
and i’m sittin’ there gettin’ my ass kicked (ow)
then i thought about what bill cosby said
in a flashback of our last trip
he said, “h+llo with the pudding”
hey, the pudding cups may be key (yeah)
that’s what gives him super strength
what if it does the same to me?
so i looked around ’til i found some (there!)
and i grabbed a cup and i downed some
and i thought to myself, “man, how dumb!”
’til i grew the size of a mountain (ha+ha)
then i got buff and changed a bunch
now i’m all tough and dangerous (grr)
and so i turned to the whole gang of chucks
and said, “yo, texas ranger sucks!”
i was just distractin’ ’em
while my friends hulk out too (smash)
pretty soon thereafter
we were tearin’ through those ground troops
and circuits were flyin’, and robots gettin’ laid out
i hit one so hard he runs on windows 98 now
since we’re so frickin’ large
cosby ran but we hit him hard (no!)
probably tell you it hurts ’cause
we beat him up like a rental car (take that!)
we set the children free, free from the predator
before we left, we took the cash out the register

[outro: stevi the demon & puff puff humbert]
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on orphan tears (they got me sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on (sip, sippin’ on)
sip, sippin’ on
now no more orphan tears

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