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your favorite martian - this is why i'm single lyrics

[intro: puff puff humbert]
all day, every day
people always ask me why i’m single
alright, alright, here’s the deal
(woo!)

[verse 1: puff puff humbert]
i don’t got good luck with the women, man
i pull up in my grandma’s minivan (hey!)
no hubcaps, one mirror
duct tape through+out the interior
wheels falling off like a grocery cart
headlights broke so it’s always dark
“oh, i thought you said it was a push+to+start”
yeah, you gotta get out and push to start!
you might have to pay when i wine and dine
’cause my credit card’s probably gonna get declined! (my bad..)
i use my sock as a napkin
when i tell a joke, i’m the only one laughing. (ha+ha+ha!)
i’m just an awkward dude
i stand too close when i talk to you
and when the waiter says:
“sir, enjoy your food!”
i say:
“thanks alot, you too!”
[chorus: puff puff humbert]
all day, every day
people always ask me why i’m single
this is why i’m single
i love it, but i hate it
it’s the worstest and the greatest
when you’re single
this is why i’m single

[verse 2: cartoon wax]
i wake up and it’s time for lunch
a little kool+aid and some cap’n crunch
i got no new matches
i don’t know why
honestly, i’m a really likeable guy!
i got low ambition

afraid of commitment
i never listen
my mind is driftin’
my cat went missing! (meow!)
turns out he was in my kitchen
underneath the pile of dishes (oh there you are!)
my bedroom doesn’t have much decor
there’s a sheet hangin’ up
where there should be a door
i got a warn+out mattress on a
hard+wood floor
every morning i wake up
and my back is sore! (d+mn!)
my tinder profile is not a flex
my main picture is of me and my ex
but hey, being single is not that bad!
i do what i want, and it saves me cash!
[chorus: puff puff humbert]
all day, every day
people always ask me why i’m single
this is why i’m single
i love it, but i hate it
it’s the worstest and the greatest
when you’re single
this is why i’m single

[bridge: deejay]
ha+ha!
if you’re here by yourself tonight
huh!
hold your own hand!
ha+ha!
if you love that feeling of
independence mixed with
that feeling of soul+crushing loneliness
make some noise!

[verse 3: shuba]
i’m single ’cause i squawk like a chicken (bawk)
i’m single ’cause i can’t make decisions
i’m single ’cause i’m awkward as h+ll
’cause i eat taco bell
like i’m paid by the minute
i want to talk about my ex
on the first date (again?)
i order lots of food but i never pay
then i get the guy to spill out all his fantasies
but i never tell him anything about me
nuh+nuh!
i can’t remember people’s names
so i say: “hey buddy!”
i laugh at random times, when nothing’s even funny
i venmo request people using exact change
i sing in public like the world is my stage
[chorus: puff puff humbert & shuba]
all day, every day
people always ask me why i’m single
(people always ask me why!)
this is why i’m single
i love it, but i hate it
it’s the worstest and the bestest when you’re single
this is why i’m single

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