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yxng squirtle - the cost of happiness lyrics

[verse 1]
it costs so much to be happy
fill up my cup, lets keep laughing
keep me depressed, happiness oppressed
if i see the light, darkness is abreast
i can’t feel alright, depression will possess
that’s all i’ll feel, til the end of me
cus happiness, is my enemy

[interlude]
f-ck being happy. too much negative sh-t just keeps following me. i just can’t catch a moment of happiness without this negative sh-t

[verse 2]
everyone says it’ll be okay
like, i know that and it’ll be no cake
cus life ain’t easy, i’m feeling queasy
and happiness will, soon defeat me
cus soon after here comes depression
followed by misery, grief, and your medicine
now happiness is superst-tious
cus you start to think it is villain-istic
you start to feel like life betrayed you
and the smallest things just irritate you
you’re so stressed and negative inside
almost led you to commit suicide
you knew you had to find peace
‘fore suicide once again crossed your mind’s street
but you didn’t do it for you
but for her, your fam, and those who support you

[interlude]
why can’t i just sit down for once, feel happy but, not have to deal with the consequences of negativity following me?

[verse 3]
man i finally did this sh-t live, like i dunno where i been this whole time
i’ve been too lost and too scared to admit fears cus if i blow up then i might float high
and i can’t do that cus i’m afraid of heights
wanted money first knew i better take a hike
still want it now maybe why i f-cked up live
and forgot the verse and why i always closed my eyes
but at the end of the day i think that’s okay
cus i still had fun even if i f-cked the whole thing
and dare i say it i think i may have truly been happy
my heart was racing, i was smiling, i was laughing
afterwards like i knew when to laugh at me
make others comfortable with my cacophony
like i know i f-cked up it’s okay to giggle
and f-ck my fear of happiness that sh-t’s detrimental

- yxng squirtle lyrics

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