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zach sherwin - buddha worm lyrics

one day i saw a worm on the sidewalk
making its little way across the pavement
and i thought
“man, it’s gonna get stepped on on the concrete…
i need to save it.”
so i took out a credit card
and then a second credit card
and used those to scoop the worm up
to dump it in the gr-ss in a nearby yard
it started flailing, fidgeting and twitching
pitching a conniption fit like it thought i was a pigeon
i watched it convulse and twist and thought
“what kind of pathetic defense is this?
honestly, has it ever occurred
that a squirming worm has deterred a determined bird?”
and i shook my head as it jerked and thrashed
and then i set it down in the gr-ss

so, i say “you’re welcome, worm” –
both for moving you to safety
and for letting you think your flopping scared me off
thus allowing you to escape me
you must have felt like a bad mamma-jamma, kid
tougher than rambo in his bandanna did
worm, you’re welcome for letting you believe
you were the jean-claude van damme of the annelids
oh! you’re welcome, worm, you’re welcome, worm. (x2)

i was deep in these thoughts as i walked on
chuckling condescendingly
and i didn’t look both ways as i hit the crosswalk
i just stepped out non-attentively and then screech!
i barely escaped being struck by a truck
but i was hit with an epiphany:
i had laughed at the worm thinking it could fight fate
but could i control my destiny any differently?
till then i’d been thinking that i
was in a different league than the pink little guy
but i now had more than an inkling that either of us
could be crushed in the blink of an eye
whether by a pair of nikes or a bus
tomorrow isn’t promised for either of us
and although we’re dissimilar, we’re the same, too
then the truck honked, and i came to

and i say thank you, worm
you showed me humility
yes, your vulnerability reminds me
of my mortality and fragility
and now i’m doing what i can to rid
myself of an ego as big as a gigantic squid
you enlightened me, worm
you are the siddhartha gautama of the annelids
oh! i thank you, worm, i thank you, worm. (x2)

[spoken]
so that’s basically the end of the song…
but ladies, i will say that i am recently single…
so here’s a few takeaways for you
first of all, i’m kind and sensitive, i care about animals;
two, i’m deep and philosophical;
and three, i have more than one credit card

- zach sherwin lyrics

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