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zach sherwin - funny dentist lyrics

this goes out to one of my past doctors
my childhood dentist – he cleaned my venus flytrap proper
so i’ve had a bright white bite when i’ve flashed the choppers
since i was a wee guy – knee high to a gr-sshopper
now he was super sk!lled as a dds
but did he also make me say tee hee hee? yes
and i still insist he dropped a quip that tops the list
of the best jests in the whole history of dentistry

quickly – i’ll set the scene, i was being seen for
a routine clean over winter break in my senior
year of college, i’d been polished, scr-ped, and flossed
by the dental tech. next, i’d get checked by the boss
i heard a knock knock, who was that?
my blue smock rockin’ tooth doc walked in
he sat, we chatted, chewed the fat
he asked about my studies, he inquired about my family
slipped on his mask, and tipped me back to examine me
he took a look and said, “your oral health is hunky dory
do you have any concerns or questions for me?”
i said “the only tooth related item coming to mind that i could mention
my girlfriend says when i’m asleep she hears me grind and clench ‘em.”
his eyebrows shot up into outer sp-ce
i said “doctor, by the look on your face, i infer it’s worse case?”
he said “it’s pretty bad, if it’s audible at night from way over at her place.”

funny dentist
that’s a thing he really said – i did not invent this
he was just as good with the wisecracks and hardy har hars
as he was with the dried plaque and hardened tartar
funny dentist
his hands were the gentlest
but against his clenched-fist punchlines? i was defenseless
most dentists make you say ah
mine did the reverse, he made me say ha!

funny dentist
(hear the words coming out of my mouth)
(my t–th clenched) (with my grin shining)
(my mouth) (wearing braces)
funny dentist

- zach sherwin lyrics

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