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zay bcuz - vacation pt. ii lyrics

[intro]
yeah
i’ve been tryna find a way to say what i gotta say

[verse 1]
“boy i hate you”
never thought i’d hear those words from you
never know i’d feel that verb so true
and imagine how i feel if it hurts to you, but d+mn
there i go again, always thinkin’ bout myself and we older than
all them old ways we used to be on
lookin’ down on others espeons

[verse 2]
we on some grown sh+t now, i was lookin’ at you growin’
now lookin’ like you be up on yo grown sh+t now
lookin’ like you be up on yo own sh+t, wow
but truly we don’t wanna be alone, switch styles
cause i liked it, nah, i loved it
so i figured i would go and put a ring on it
i don’t know if that was fair after we wouldn’t make it
cause i’m breaking еvery heart when i sing from it, yеah
felt like i was losing myself while i’m out here finding you
felt like we’d give us a chance plus i saw you trying to
i teach you how to build yourself, then i’m jealous of your strength
cause how you learn to heal yourself and i can’t even try on my end
i look around and start to even to buy my friends
even thought that i could buy my way up out of sin
i felt like money was all i need
but that switched up when i planted that seed
i was so content with the thought of us
but how could that be with the lost of trust
always here but didn’t trust yo help
come to think about it, i didn’t trust myself
makin’ these promises i can’t even promise
my mouth tellin’ lies but my heart was so honest
saw you makin’ my mistakes
and i was just hopin’ we both could learn from it
yeah we wasn’t close friends when we started off
but we both fell and we fell so fast
only problem was that i fell first
and they say that what comes quick just don’t last
and the whole time i’m tryna chase these dreams
dreams turn to dreams of you
cause my old dreams weren’t just dreams for one
now i’m under pressure dreaming for it too
and i felt like you were worth the time
felt them truths still behind them words
and i wanted you to have that life
the one i didn’t think i deserved
[verse 3]
and if i didn’t make them calls i’d slowly feel you drift away
but even when i heard your voice still felt like i ain’t have sh+t to say
and i didn’t want this to be just another mystery
of why your marriage didn’t work and end up in yo history
cause i was puttin’ you up on a pedestal along with everyone else
felt like if i made you feel better, i could make me better myself
cause i didn’t love me, i was ugly, why’d you hug me?
used to think that girls only really want the thug me
and i’m makin’ music cause i’m hopin’ that they bump me
if i didn’t make it then i felt like they would bump me
yeah, girl, you was my first, surprised that you really couldn’t tell
i guess that wasn’t the only thing i was so good at hidin’ so well
that’s why every little word you said would hit me so hard in the soul
cause the whole time i thought i’m building you, i was building myself to control
and i spent so much time findin’ you
i didn’t even want you findin’ me
cause you would find that i didn’t find myself
and everything you said, d+mn, i agree
how could i be such a hypocrite?
already soundin’ like some father’s words
don’t follow my actions, girl
only focus on, ‘he’s less than her’
but now that i got you findin’ you
there ain’t n0body findin’ me
and now i’m gettin’ lost in the world ignis
but i’m tellin’ you it don’t bother me
smokin’ all my life away
and makin’ you think that i’m okay
and put these thoughts inside this box in my mind and call it a hideaway
[verse 4]
and at the ending of the day
still wonder why i feel so high
i felt like i could hide from you
but can’t hide from myself, forgot
i wanted so bad to be the man of ya dreams
i just wanted someone to love me back
but now i see i’m not that man i see
i’m actually better when i’m proud to be black
i’m learning how to manage my thoughts inside
i’m learning all i say ain’t usually facts
i’m learning only i can make me happy
and i hope you can grow to manage that
but now i see i make mistakes
but those are all from yesterday
and there ain’t nothin’ i can say
that could take that pain away
so now we have to hit reset which i know i’m so used to doin’
cause that’s how we grew up in my house
fall off, get back to your pursuin’
so no, i didn’t have the right mind
and yeah i didn’t need to learn patience
but i still knew deep down inside that it was too early for this vacation
cause you don’t know that man that you were gon’ be sleepin’ with
cause how can i give you my whole heart when i only know just a piece of it
and i’m gettin’ off this rollercoaster
and i’ma go ahead and get this here help
and i still hope you findin’ you
cause now i gotta go find myself
[outro]
yeah
ain’t no time for no vacations if we workin’
ain’t no time to take no breaks if we workin’
i’m just sayin’, i’m just workin’ if you workin’

- zay bcuz lyrics

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