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zay doe - convicted lyrics

oh oh oh, yea yea
you know it’s zay doe
you know it’s zay doe
hold up
hold up
you know it’s zay doe
you know it’s zay doe
uh, uh, yea

[chorus]
oh father
i need for you to come & take my hand
see you the man
and i need you to be in demand
of my life
but see i really can’t waste no more time
no i’m not behind bars
i’m convicted in my mind
just let me know
let me know what i gotta do
i feel myself slipping away while also losing you
my soul bruised
i got mental screws coming loose
you been tryna save me but i been tryna save you

[verse 1]
i lost
i lost myself a long time ago
nowhere to go
roaming fast on a lonely road
a road
that led me to some things i’d never seen
objects never thought in dreams
and feelings i newly perceived
no way
i felt it was no way to make it out
a different route would only take me to a different house
house of nothingness
and frustration would soon take over me and everything going on that i just hoped would cease
tried to get a job
get sh-t in order
still feeling down south like a route to florida
cause all my inhibitions stemming from long term insecurities got me in a drought for water
all my seeds dropped low in soil
but nothing can grow when the sky is spoiled
if my life is a garden then darling bargain for no plants royal
don’t you stop loving me
don’t you stop loving me
please don’t stop loving me
i’m tryna figure my way out
don’t you stop loving me
don’t you stop loving me
please don’t stop loving me
i’m tryna see what god’s about

[verse 2]
i’m sk!lled in n-gg-try
these white folks they been sick of me
i cop the flyest fit
can’t pay my rent
but dressing effortlessly
don’t go to school
and f-ck 12
but i’m gang banging
and my chain swinging like ancestors from trees hanging
im tying my own noose now
so who else can i blame
other than inst-tutional racism
don’t ya think?
we gentrified in inner cities
causing homicides
it ain’t like they care until a cop k!lling a black guy
then we bring it up & they throw it back in our face
that we only the one’s willing to k!ll our own race
but where you think we learn it from?
self-hatred ain’t something we just picked up once slavery was gone
it’s something that’s haunting us
sticking up for my race is something that i just live for
and i won’t let anyone tell me that it isn’t right
but honestly i find it strange the people i defend tonight
have called me weird & said i’m acting white because i’m talking right my entire life

[outro]
so much more to me honestly
i don’t think you see
so much more to me honestly
i don’t think you see
i been hurting & on your parade, i ain’t tryna rain
what’s causing you most joy is bringing me the pain

convicted in my mind
still not ahead of behind

- zay doe lyrics

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