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zj mission - confessions lyrics

{verse 1}
yeah
since 2014 i been leading the team to achieve all the things in this dream of mine
burst onto the scene with a plan to be seen now they’re looking at me as it falls in line
girls be hitting me up said she’ll be at the fair if i wanna chill it’d be nice
i said i’ll check with my schedule and hit you right back if i don’t have to work that night
really i don’t even care, really i don’t have the time
really i’m just way more focused on gеtting the 100s than getting a dime
rеally i’m trying way harder to get with the lord than to get with a wife
really i’m happy just being a servant that’s how i been living my life
serving the church i done seen it all, doing the worship i lead ’em all
was 9 when i first led a music team, back then music wasn’t my dream at all
i was gonna be a youth pastor, but i turned into a youth faster
telling everything i knew faster, just like me my ego grew faster
then i got into a crew back there, then i fell into a new pattern
had a girlfriend behind my parent’s back i had to learn to hide the truth faster
telling lies about my whereabouts, telling lies about my conversations
even took her to the church with me, thinking that would be a consolation
rode with us in the pastor’s van, honestly it’s kind of hard to say it
i was wrong, and it really hurts, i was falling and my heart was breaking
i was following the wrong path, i was too caught up in pride to change it
after that it was too late, now i’m praying for reconciliation

[hook]
yeah, now i’m just making confessions
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. these are just all my confessions
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, i need to make some confessions
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, i need to make a confession
{verse 2}
i been so depressed i can’t even flex
i ain’t really living life at my best
i been really feeling like i failed the test
and i must confess, i been such a mess
giving into the desires of my flesh
what i did with her is something i regret
traded 18 years of purity ahead to get a little head and that ain’t all we did
you don’t know the way it feels to see her with another man knowing it ain’t you
you don’t know the way it feels to get a death threat over something you know you ain’t do
you don’t know the pain of looking my dad in the face as i’m lying and knowing it ain’t true
you don’t understand the reason i’m speaking the reason i’m here in the booth, listen
i wanted to say that i’m sorry
for all of the pain that i caused you
the lies that i told when you caught me
the way that i spoke when you called me
the life that i lived as a hypocrite
while still tryna preach as a christian kid
correction’s kind of like a check
cuz i done taken way more of it than given it
statements of praise i don’t hear a lot
i stay on the move i’m not here a lot
i look at myself in the mirror a lot
i used to be dealing with fear a lot
fear of failure, fear of losing it
fear of future. fear of moving it
fear of one day getting money
and power then turning around and abusing it
fear of people that i cared about
fear of people that i didn’t know
fear of how the people looked at me
fear of everything i can’t control
fear that after what i did
that you might never wanna speak to me again
fear that after all my sin
that i might never join a worship team again
i ain’t changed except for the better though
so please don’t treat me like criminal
i was wrong and i admit it though
i messed up to put it simple though
i just really wanna let you know
none of this was intentional
and i know we’re at a distance so
i just pray that you forgive me though
{outro}
zach, i’m out of texting. i have to reload my phone
so don’t try to text me just try to get home as quickly as possible
and let dad know you weren’t out visiting people. i don’t know
somehow. whatever. just get home and… just get home
jared and i are at costco. bye+bye

- zj mission lyrics

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