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zoogz rift - ah peeked in duh devil’s secret hell files ('87 version) lyrics

i peeked in the devil’s secret h+ll files
and found a list with names a mile long
and saw you, and you, and you, and you
and you, and even you

let me close my eyes
please, don’t make me watch satan m+st+rbate
he’s a hungry clown and i don’t want to see all his dirty deeds

oh, why god?
oh, why did those assh0l+s at the employment agency get me this job cleaning up this office?
oh, why? somebody tell me already!
was this the best they could do on such short notice?
am i being punished for ovеreating and using too many cuss words?
or is it for sounding too much like some palе, cheap imitation of captain beefheart?
or am i too much like frank zappa?

am i being punished for not cutting enough people off on the freeway
or for answering my phone messages?
oh, why god?
oh, why did those assh0l+s at the employment agency put me here where i don’t belong?
when they could have gotten me a job selling hot dogs instead to idiots in disneyland!
were they afraid i’d pr+ck the old ladies with my erection?
could they have suspected that i might urinate through the cosmos at the top of sp+ce mountain?
oh why, god?
oh, why those assh0l+s at the employment agency inform me earlier about the hades dress code?
i would’ve worn my fat man’s pajamas with the air condition vent in the rear
zoogz rift! yo, zoogz!
what are you doing here?
wh+ what? uh, who was that? who’s there?
it is i, zoogz rift, it is i! get a f+ckin’ job! [laughing]
it’s you! it’s you! how the f+ck+…?
wait a minute, this can’t be w+… you’re dead!
be cool, dude! that’s right, i’m dead!
i’m dead because you k!lled me, zoogz rift!
because you and your slug musician friends picked me up and k!lled me, oh!
oh, man! don’t i have enough problems?
what is it you want, o’ grey spirit?
you want to complain to me that you’re in h+ll, i suppose
that you’re dead, and have gone straight to f+cking h+ll for driving like a f+cking idiot on the freeway?
giving me the wrong change at jack+in+the+box?
playing that heavy metal sh+t on your stereo at 3:30 in the morning when we’re all trying to sleep?
[laughing] no, zoogz rift, no! [laughing]
sending me junk mail trying to entice me to waste my money on boring inane magazines? ([laughing])
charging me over a thousand dollars at the chevron station for preventive maintenance while, all the while, deliberately destroying my car?
[laughing] no way, dude! [laughing]
for going through life talking like a blabbering, slobbering idiot?
driving your van to the beach during spring break with a sign painted on the side that says, “show us your tits”?
no! i said no!
zoogz rift, they didn’t even hold it against me for being a booger at several los angeles rock clubs, or for getting all the p+ssy while guys like john trubee were stuck with their sh+t jobs at the hardware stores
well, then, what are you talking about then?
i’m in heaven, zoogz rift!
that’s right, you k!lled me and i went to heaven!
glorious, beautiful heaven!
but you, zoogz rift, it’s you that are in h+ll! [laughing]
you f+cked up! [laughing]
oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
yes! yes! you’re in h+ll and now you’ll burn! [laughing]
no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no! no!
we’ll teach you to send back those reader’s digest sweepstakes entries in a “no” envelope
hey, zoogz! get a f+cking job!
no! no! no! oh, no!

- zoogz rift lyrics

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