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zwoop[ - trauma dump (beat by medium $ean) lyrics

+verse 1+
(music)
alright here we go
i’ve gone through some sh+t in my time
i just wanna shine, but i’m covered in grime
it’s like a crime for me to exist, and i ain’t made a dime
it ain’t nothing compared to some people’s pain, not even close
but it still hurts me like a bump on the nose
i just feel like a ghost, ain’t wanted by no hoes
i’m so f+cked up, i can’t even process it when someone cares
i just take thеir kind stares as the threatеnin’ glares
i just see everyone as hungry bears, ready to eat me, every hair
rewind, 2018, my parents split
honestly didn’t leave as much as an open slit as others
it was prob’ly for the better, if i’m bein’ legit
we moved and i left everything, even my girl
but to be fair, we were six years old, so that wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in the world
my life only continued to swirl
new school, and i was still a f+ckin’ dumbass
but i felt cool, and it felt greener on this grass
i was a fool, but i let go of my past
surprised i even remember two of my old friends’ names, wonder how long they’ll last
i used to be happy, but now i’m always feelin’ cr+ppy
what happened? i got a soul
now i feel every hole. my pain’s just a bowl of h+ll
waitin’ for me so they can make me not feel full
maybe if i just had one person with me, i could fill that hole
i ain’t never had a partner since the kindie’s
that makes sense, toddlers are stupid, and you’d have to be an idiot to fall for me
now hate is all i see
everyone’s always out for me
prob’ly cause i’m just ugly, so they attack me like an angry bee
i’d always wanted to be famous
but little did i know, i was the lamest motherf+cker on the planet
i’d always wanted to do somethin’ big in the world
but i never thought i’d be rappin’
it ain’t till middle school that that’d happen, so
+chorus+
i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause

+verse 2+
we’re keepin’ this timeline linear
so go back just one year, and i’m startin’ middle school here
i know everyone hates it, but for me, it was a time to cheer
i kinda loved it here, at least at first, but we’ll get to that later
cause as you’ll see, i quickly became a hater
new school, new me, yet i’m just as nerdy
i was the steph curry of bein’ nerdy, and i didn’t have a problem with it
nothing below an a, surely i was cringe as sh+t, but it didn’t hurt me
despite what everyone says, i thought it was pretty great
i had no hate, i never wanted to see my graduation date
guess i was too late to realize that was all just bait
i loved my classmates, they always brought a smile to my face
even though i was a d+mn disgrace, i didn’t care at that place
i felt like everyone was my friend
even though half of them prob’ly wished my life would end
i had my enemies, sure, but they couldn’t make me bend
nothing made a dent in me, i was all set
i was full of joy, i had nothin’ to regret
but soon i found something that i was missing, and for me it was love
at the time, it just felt like my family’d always just give me a shove
it was ’round this time i started feelin’ like sh+t
cause i tried to get with some girl, but she didn’t like it
we’re fine friends now, but at the time, i took a hit
took me a bit, but i recovered from it, regardless
i started realizin’ what people really thought
everyone’s as toxic as the player base of cod
no, i ain’t so hot, i was just like a f+ckin’ robot
what new gen calls an “npc,” that was me
it wasn’t too bad, but it only escalated later
by the next year, i became my own biggest hater
now i just come to myself like a hungry gator
ready to tear myself apart and leave a massive crater
but this is child’s play compared to a year later, cause
+chorus+
i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause

+verse 3+
if you thought the sh+t last year was bad, then you ain’t seen nothin’ yet
if i was a happy camper, the school just burned down my tent
the year was fine to start, but it soon broke my heart
a part of that was me getting bullied, and things quickly started to fall apart
i’ve talked about them bullies enough now, so i won’t waste time at the moment
but i won’t forget, soon i’ll make ‘em own it
after the taunting, that’s when i really learned what people think of me, and it was quite daunting
i’m just wanting some closure, but to this day, it’s still haunting
every comment, i notice nowadays
i just need somethin’ to blow this dark cloud away
just something to keep the hateful crowd away
i thought people liked me, but now it feels like they’ve always despised me
i ain’t been able to look at myself the same, or really at all, i’m too ashamed
i wish i could stop playing the game
but i can’t, and there’s only me to blame
maybe that’s why 2017 was the last time i had a partner
my insecurities just made asking anyone harder
the thought of suicide has been on my mind
i can’t just push my pains aside
no matter how long i’ve tried, i can’t let it go, it’ll just stay by my side
no matter how long i’ve cried, i’m never spared, no one ever cared
on top of that, my grades fell
i went from perfection to sayin’ “b’s are swell.”
everyone’s givin’ me h+ll, and i can’t cope
everyone keeps this trope goin’, and i feel like there’s no hope
feels like everyone just goes for my throat
it felt like all my friends left me too
they all just left me in the dust to sit and f+ckin’ rust
or at least that’s what it feels like, and my determination’s boutta bust
now we enter eminem, kendrick, and all the lyrical gods
i got into hip hop and wanted to be just like them
i wanted it to be my job, so i got to work and i finally dropped
it flopped, but i didn’t surrender. now here i am, mixin’ words like fruit in a blender
i ain’t famous in here yet, but soon, i’ll be f+ckin’ crazy on the internet
i’ll keep spillin’ these raps over and over like i have tourettes
just wait and see, my career’s boutta go fast as a jet
+chorus+
i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause

+verse 4+
now it’s time for my reflection
i’ve definitely got depression
don’t know if this song will bring succession, but it’ll definitely be somethin’
if you were denying my pain, now there’s no need for a discussion
i’ve started to reform back to the norm, but i think i’ll always be torn
even if this song blows and i’m a hero, my self confidence will still be at zero
i still wouldn’t be able to fully cheer, bro
i don’t know what i’m missin’, maybe just people who can be a friend that’s loyal
that’d make me feel royal
but everyone just tries to bury me deep in the soil
i’m still insecure bout everything, hopefully i can get everyone in with me for sure
i just need some godd+mn cure, just to make me pure
but nothin’ helps, i’m broken beyond repair
and there’s nothing that can make me care
i wish someone could help me and just let me share
how i’m feelin’, but there’s no one
you’ll prob’ly just say “get counseling” or somethin’, but i just need someone i know
it ain’t the same knowin’ they’re gettin’ paid to listen to how this story will go
i just need someone who i know gives a d+mn bout what i went through this time ago
bro or ho, i’ll take anyone, yo
well, that’s pretty much my whole life’s story, there ain’t much more
i told you all about this little wh0re
i just really need some help before i’m covered in gore cause i shot myself
so it’s time for me to say “adiós,” thanks for listenin’ to my trauma dump, every word
oh yeah, one more thing, i just beat eminem’s world record

+chorus+
i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause i’m boutta trauma dump
so you’re gonna sit down and listen, chump!
maybe it’ll bump up my self esteem, or just keep me in this slump
can’t get over this hump, but at least i can whine to you cause
(music)

- zwoop lyrics

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