adam sandler - do it for your mama lyrics
do it for your mama
[j.n.:] “i can make a bigger splash than you!”
[jimmy:] “oh yeah, give it a shot.”
[while jumping up and down on diving board]
[j.n.:] “can opener!”
[big splash]
[jimmy:] “man, that one was huge.”
[j.n.:] “you go.”
[while running towards pool]
[jimmy:] “ahhhh, jacknife!”
[jumps in and small splash]
[tracy:] “that was a dud, jimmy.”
[jimmy:] “shutup, tracy.”
[tracy:] “you shutup.”
[door opens, walks over]
[momma:] “lunch time kids.”
[kids yelling happily]
[momma:] “i made some jelly sandwiches and sliced up some cantelope.
i figured you could eat a little food and and then maybe play with yer c-ck and b-lls fer a while.”
[j.n.:] “i’m just gonna eat, mom.”
[momma:] “all right. and then maybe a little later, you can play with yer c-ck and b-lls fer momma.”
[j.n.:] “i don’t think so.”
[momma:] “ok. slow down jimmy, yer already halfway done with yer sandwhich.
you’re gonna get a belly ache.”
[jimmy:] “no i’m not. i’m hungry.”
[momma:] “i know, but you shouldn’t so fast.
you’re rushing honey, you’re gonna choke. put down your sandwhich and beat off your c-ck and b-lls for a little bit. pace yourself.”
[jimmy:] “oh god.”
[momma:] “tracy, do you want some fruit or a sandwhich?”
[tracy:] “no mom, i’m trying to lose weight. guy said i’m getting fat.”
[momma:] “what? you look beautiful honey. he’s crazy.”
[tracy:] “guy said last summer i looked better in a bathing suit, so i’m gonna try to lose like three or four pounds.”
[momma:] “awww, sweetheart.
you’ve got so much to learn.
guy doesn’t want you to lose weight, baby.
it’s just his way of telling you he wants you to smack around his c-ck and b-lls some more, honey.
he’s got some b-lls and some c-ck. you gotta stroke his schl-ng or at least bite his nuts.”
[tracy:] “mom!”
[momma:] “you’re scared, aren’t ya honey.
you want momma to help you?
momma will stroke guy’s p-n-s for him.
no one has to know. i’ll sneak in when it’s dark.”
[tracy:] “no! mom, please!”
[momma:] “you don’t know how to tug on the c-ck and b-lls?
you need momma to show you?
get me a carrot, sweetheart.
where are you going!?”
[j.n.:] “mom, where’s the suntan lotion?”
[momma:] “it’s under the chair baby.
you gonna lube up yer c-ck and b-lls and wack it for a little bit?”
[j.n.:] “uhh, no. i’m just going to put some on my face so i don’t get sunburnt.”
[momma:] “smart thinking honey.
and while yer at it you can put some on your brother’s ding dong and knock around his nuts for him.”
[jimmy:] “mom!”
[momma:] “what jimmy. why don’t you let your brother wack your c-ck and nuts for a little bit.
you’re not playing with them right now so why not let him. share, baby!”
[jimmy:] “you’re weird mom! i’m going swimming!”
[momma:] “oh, you shouldn’t swim for a half an hour. i read that.”
[jimmy:] “why?”
[momma:] “because you just ate, honey.
and you’ll get cramps.
why don’t you just lay on the side of the pool and jiggle your b-lls for momma.”
[jimmy:] “it’s ok. i’ll stay in the shallow end.”
[momma:] “ok, baby. but don’t hurt yourself with that big juicy hog of yours.”
[jimmy:] “hey, j.n. throw me that frisby.”
[j.n.:] “here! whoops!”
[sails over and falls to the ground]
[jimmy:] “nice throw. right over the fence and into the chasen’s yard.”
[momma:] “don’t get all huffy puffy. i’ll get it.
momma will make everything all right.
j.n. you watch jimmy and make sure he’s safe in that water.”
[j.n.:] “ok, ma.”
[momma:] “and if you want you can beat your c-ck and b-lls. hi mr. chasen!”
[mr. chasen: “oh, hi emily. how are you?”
[momma:] “oh, the boys threw the frisbee over the fence again.
and there it is under the bush.”
[mr. chasen:] “i’ll get it for you.”
[momma:] “sorry. thank you.
and while your under that bush, why don’t you jack around your c-ck and b-lls for yourself.
you can stare at my jugs and play with that healthy w-ng of yours.”
[mr. chasen:] “no, i’ll just.. i’ll just get your frisbee.”
[momma:] “all right baby.”
[mr. chasen:] “here you go.”
[momma:] “thank you. thanks. thank mr. chasen, boys!”
[boys:] “thanks mr. chasen!”
[mr. chasen:] “you’re welcome fellas.”
[momma:] “have a good day.
oh, and..and tell your son tommy,
if he wants to come over later and play with his c-ck and b-lls with the kids he’s always welcome.
i don’t know what happened with him and the boys,
but they don’t seem to be friendly anymore.”
[mr. chasen:] “i’ll do that emily.”
[momma:] “all right. he’s got a big one. you know that.”
[momma:] “tracy! you’re boyfriend guy’s car just pulled up.”
[tracy:] “ok mom. please don’t embar-ss me!”
[momma:] “everything embar-sses you at this age, but i’ll do my best.
don’t worry.”
[guy:] “is it ok to come in?”
[tracy:] “come on back here guy!”
[momma:] “oh!”
[tracy:] “thanks for coming over!”
[momma:] “nice to see you guy.”
[guy:] “hi mrs. tucker.”
[momma:] “why don’t you go for a swim with the others?”
[guy:] “i didn’t bring a bathing suit with me.”
[momma:] “oh no! you don’t need a bathing suit.
just pull off your clothes and let your c-ck and b-lls feel the nice warm water.”
[guy:] “uhhh, that’s ok, mrs. tucker.”
[momma:] “come on! pull out your c-ck and b-lls.
the water’s heated. you’ll love it.”
[tracy:] “mom! stop it! now!”
[momma:] “what are you talking about, honey!?
this way his b-lls are out, you can stroke his ding dong in front of all of us.
come on, pull out that hog of yours.
i wanna see it anyways.
i wanna know what my daughter’s been stroking.”
[tracy:] “mom! stop it!”
[momma:] “in fact, everybody, pull out your c-ck and b-lls and rub it for momma.
play with yourself. it’ll be good. everyone. wack away!”
[j.n.:] “you’re sick mom! i’m leaving.”
[jimmy:] “i’m going to billy’s house. i can’t take this anymore.”
[walking away]
[guy:] “come on, let’s go.”
[tracy:] “you’ve humiliated me and guy. we are so outta here.”
[momma:] “what did i do? what is the matter with you all?
come back here!
you’re ruining the day!
it’s so beautiful out.
this is too much of a…”
[picks up phone and starts dialing while car drives off]
“i can’t take these kids anymore…”
[phone rings and gets picked up]
[grandma:] “h-llo?”
[momma:] “momma, it’s me, i’m very upset,”
[grandma:] “oh, what’s the matter, baby?”
[momma:] “the kids are yelling at me and they left me here all alone.”
[grandma:] “did you tell them the kids to play with their c-ck and b-lls?”
[momma:] “i told them to play with their c-ck and b-lls.”
[grandma:] “and what did they say?”
[momma:] “they don’t wanna play with them anymore.”
[grandma:] “why don’t they wanna play with them anymore?”
[momma:] “i don’t understand. they’ve got c-ck and b-lls. they should play with them.”
[grandma:] “poppy always loves when i play with his c-ck and b-lls.”
[momma:] “you smack around daddy’s c-ck still, why shouldn’t they beat theirs?”
[grandma:] “tell them to come over to grandma’s house. i’ll play with their c-ck and b-lls.”
[momma:] “oh momma.”
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